Thursday, February 24, 2011

On Friendship

I know it has been a while since I posted, and I have pretty much used every excuse as to why but I think it is time to move forward and not worry about the past few months. So here is a new post.

A few weeks ago I started my busy season. I coach a high school sports team and my season starts in January and goes through May. Pretty much during these months all my free time is taking up with the team and the players. My wife knows this but still gets pretty upset that I am not here.

Starting this season off has been worse because of the relationship problems we have. I have covered some of it earlier but for a refresher, my wife is depressed. What makes this worse is she hates everything about our current life, our house, our financial situation, where we live and they fact that she has no friends here.

I do not have a lot of friends here either. I left some of my best friends where we previously lived, but have yet to find some here that we really have a lot in common with. Although I am more of a homebody. I can spend most of my time with my daughter and be happy. I also have my team and players and that keeps me fairly occupied and happy.

My biggest complaint for her is lack of effort. I do agree that it has been hard finding people with similar interests but I know they are out there. My wife though has a hard time meeting anyone. I can walk into a room full of strangers and within minutes know everyone by their first name. She however will never enter the room. When she gets to know someone she tends to have great friends but she can not break the ice much at all.

The other issue is the south. Outdoors here does not mean going hiking or biking or nature walks, it is all about hunting and fishing and killing hogs or deer. I dont have a problem with that and have some good friends that go hunting, but she has a different appreciation for nature and gets angry with hunters. So most of the people we meet are either true southerners or transplants and neither seem to have much in common with us.

Of course that means she takes out most of her frustrations on me and right now our relationship sucks.

I think she needs time to herself or with a new friend. She needs someone to vent to when her day is bad, or when our daughter is not listening. She needs to have a girls night out, or a girls night in where they watch a cheesy movie. I think with those things she will appreciate what she has more and come to like the south.

Right now all she ever thinks about is leaving, and when you have one foot out the door you will never be able to find a solid relationship.