Thursday, December 20, 2012

A Red Hot Penis

One thing I learned over the last few days... Never masturbate after making roasted jalapeno peppers.

A few nights ago I decided to make some roasted peppers. I was careful when I made them and made sure that I washed my hands after to get the oil off. Although for some reason I still had some on my hands, even after I washed them off. I was aware of it right when I went to bed, having just touched my eye and felt the heat from the pepper. So I washed again.

 The next morning I was feeling that I needed a little release. It has been a little while since I had sex with my wife, what with all the sickness we have had going around the place. It was also a few days since I gave myself the release that I needed.

 With my wife already off to work and the place quiet and dark I started to masturbate. Within a few minutes I had my orgasm and proceeded to get up and go to wash in the bathroom. Well as soon I as I started to clean myself up I felt the pain. It was not just the simple pain from touching my penis but since I touched the head, the oil and pre-come mixed and the pain was now inside.

I quickly turned on the shower and jumped in only to be met with the most intense pain on the tip of my penis, so much that it made me jump back and almost scream out loud. Grabbing the bottle of soap I thought I could just wash it away but even trying to touch the head was unbearable.

I knew mixing it with water would just spread the pain around but I was not really sure what I could do, and I thought that the more water I poured on it the faster it would feel better. For almost ten minutes in the shower it burned, and finally when it started to go away I was able to wash myself again.

The pain continued even after I toweled off but eventually it felt better. It was not until I peed again around 10 am that the pain was finally gone. To say that was the most intense masturbation session I ever had was definitely and understatement.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Unplanned Absense

I know, I know, I have said it before and you are right I should be consistent with my entries, but this was unplanned. It is not like I do not have anything to write, but as life would have other options for me, I never had a chance.

Lets see, The week of Thanksgiving my wife became incredibly ill, probably the flu, combined with a sinus infection. The antibiotics they gave her did not work, then the ones that replaced the first ones made her sicker and finally a week later she received the right medicine and finally started feeling better.

Only staying in bed for a week and then trying to go back to work, she threw out her back on the first day of starting a new job. So again I was taking care of her. Well that next weekend came and I became ill. Thankfully I was not too bad and just had a minor cold. And finally the next Tuesday, my daughter started complaining that her head and stomach hurt. 103.5 degrees later, she had a full blown illness and with my wife starting a new job I was the one that stayed home and took care of her.

More than a full week went by before things were back to normal as far as illness goes, and now having missed the week of thanksgiving for vacation, several days the week after and then another few days the week after that I am swamped at work. Just posting this is taking away from several hours of work that I should probably be doing, but needed to take a break from the data processing for a while.

I never thought I would be back processing data, but at this job we all do pretty much everything. We are a small department in a bigger company and have to fend for ourselves most of the time. That being said, I think I finally see the end of the tunnel. Well at least until the holidays.

January is a whole different story. I may be traveling for the better part of the month and it will kick right off into our next busy season. The guy whose work I took over when he left to travel China said that normally December and January are down times, well I guess not so much this year. Oh well.

At least I am working and Christmas is almost here.

Thursday, November 15, 2012


"So how come you are not dancing," I asked her as she leaned against one of the tables in the dark corner of the room.

"Because I am shy," She replied.

"What does that have to do with dancing?" I asked, smiling as I said it. It was funk night at the bar and the dance floor was filled with people bouncing to the beat.

I had noticed her before in front of the ladies room running her fingers through her long blond hair. Something that she did for many years after we met. I finally had the nerve to go up to talk with her and with my friend in tow we both were talking with girls from her party.

We stared at each other for a brief moment before I heard my friend say, "hey do you want to get out of her." They were sisters we found out and lived not too far from where my friend had an apartment. "We can go back to my place and then you guys can share a cab home," he pointed to me and the girls. "Sure," they both nodded in agreement.

Back at my friends the conversation turned from the dance floor to the outdoors. My friend and the girl's sister were directing the conversation as I and my new found interest were just trading glances at each other. "I'm practically married," I heard my friend state, and was not sure why he suddenly felt the need to make that declaration. It had its effect, since shortly after our party was broken up by the sister saying maybe its time to go.

Since my apartment was within walking distance of the sisters apartment I told them I would share a cab with them and head home from there. We called a cab and said our goodbyes to my friend and left the apartment. I sat up front in the cab not sure if there would be anymore to the evening as the sisters talked in the backseat.

When we arrived at the apartment the girl I was interested in said, "You can come upstairs if you want." Of course I did not need much persuading and I found myself sitting in their kitchen a few minutes later with the sister explaining that she was tired and going to bed.

It was my birthday the other day, she said, and proceeded to show my some of her presents, one of which caught my eye. It was a movie on the return of the wolf to Yellowstone.

"You like wolves," I said. "They are my favorite as well."

"Sure," she replied sarcastically thinking that I was just trying to get her in bed.

"No really, I even have a tie with wolf howling at the moon." She laughed at that and the next thing I knew she pushed up against me as I leaned into the counter and kissed me. I leaned back into her kiss and held her close. Our lips parted for a few seconds and I heard her say, "that was nice."

I kissed her again as I realized my feet were slipping on the mat that she had for the sink. She laughed as I straightened it up and we embraced again. The mat slipped again and we laughed together as once again I bent down to fix it. "I need to go to bed," she said and I knew that tonight was not going to be my night, so I asked for her number.

She wrote it down on a ripped piece of paper and led me to the door. I kissed her again and she stood in the doorway for a second and then turned and vanished back into the apartment. Walking down the hill to my apartment, I caught myself smiling and thinking about her standing there. It was only a week later that we went out again and I realized that I was falling in love with her.

***This is the true story of how I met my wife. We have been married for 12 years now and despite all the issues we have I still love her the way I did when I first met her. I still think about that day and see her fixing her hair in front of the ladies room door. She was beautiful back then and still is now.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


My wife has decided to take the first step towards recovery.

She has been pushing it back for years now and our relationship has suffered because of it. I have been patient because I love her, but it has been difficult to deal with for all these years.

When my wife was a child she was sexual assaulted by one of her mom's boyfriends. This is something that she rarely talks about but has been haunting her for years. Then when she was on vacation in Hawaii she was date raped by a local and her asshole of a boyfriend instead of supporting her was mad that she put herself in that situation.

Needless to say sex has been a problem since we were married. It is interesting to note that before we were married our sex life was wild. We had some great times and there was little that we did not try or enjoy. The problem is not the sex it is the intimacy, the trust.

She has indicated that when she loves someone she no longer feels comfortable with the sex part. I guess in her mind the more she trusts someone the harder it is for her to become intimate. It is logical to think that she feels that if she trusts someone to be intimate with they will betray that trust and hurt her as she has been hurt in the past.

We both know that for us to have a healthy relationship these issues need to be addressed but the how is the hard part. Her therapist suggested intimate touching, without sex. We tried on a few occasions but never followed through with it.

She needs to be comfortable with me touching her without withdrawing herself. When we moved here in March, we had a difficult time finding a good therapist that would not charge us an outstanding price since she has no mental health coverage in her insurance policy. Finally we were able to get some help through the county.

She was not employed at the time and that allowed her to use the county mental health services at a sliding scale. When we looked at the offerings of the department we were amazed to find out all they had. Back in our old state the mental health department was lumped into the same department as the halfway houses for criminals and the criminally insane.

Here they actually have outreach programs and wonderful seminars for all different lifestyles. We have even been considering taking a cooking class at the center. After the new year she will start a new group for people suffering with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) related to a sexual assault.

She has been attending a group for bipolar and was very happy with the outcome. I do not expect a miracle right away, but at least this is the first step to hopefully a much happier life together.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Music Tames the Savage Beast

I watch too much TV. I admit it. It is a problem that I have.

For years I did not even own a TV, let alone have any idea what was actually on. Now, however, it is all that I do when I come home from work.

It helps me unwind. It keeps my mind off the other issues that I have in my life and I get lost in some of the stories that I watch.

Of course there are only a handful of channels and a few programs that I watch all the time, and many others that I will not even remotely come near when they are on.

I pretty much hate all reality TV. All the stupid make me a star programs are redundant and overplayed. In fact I do not watch much network TV at all.

But enough about TV. What I need to do is stop turning it on when I get home.

Recently I have been trying to listen to music while I do other things around the house, like clean or read and that typically puts me in a much better mood than when I watch TV.

It definitely changes the mood of the rest of the evening.

Sometimes I even stream my music at work and that makes the day go incredibly fast.

I cycle through my music depending on how I feel, but some days I just need some of my go to artists.

Today it's Jimi Hendrix. Other days its John Coltrane or Miles Davis... if I really feel like it I listen to some heavy guitar jazz like the Mahavishnu Orchestra, or even some of the Flamingo guitarists like Paco De Lucia.

Of course sometimes a little Grateful Dead will suit my mood. I was once a pretty big deadhead, even following them around a bit. Its not everyday that I feel like listening to them but some days it just takes me back to the times I had with some good friends and good music and I smile.

Maybe tonight when I get home, instead of turning on the TV I will play some music... who knows what mood I will be in so I have no idea which direction I will go... maybe a little Frank Zappa.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Conference

She sat a few tables in front of me. I noticed her glance back as she sat down.

Was she looking for me I could not tell, but I could see her eyes search the room briefly.

The lights dimmed in the conference hall and I used the opportunity to get up and slide into the open seat next to her. Her head tilted toward me but it was too dark for her to make out exactly who was taking the seat.

The presenter started up, the video was being introduced.

My hand fumbled underneath the table. There was a large tablecloth that hung down almost clear to the floor making it impossible to see what I was doing.

I felt in the dark until I hit the hem of her skirt. She moved her leg slightly away as if it was an accidental brush.

I moved closer as I touched the top of her bare knee. She did not move this time but I could feel her look toward me. Still she could not make out who was touching her leg now in the darkness of the hall.

Moving my hand up to her thigh I could sense her anticipation as she spread her legs slightly.

My fingers pushed the material of her skirt further up her leg as I got closer to my goal.

The video was in full force now and all the heads were on the screen in front of the hall, and no one was the wiser to what my hand was doing under the table.

Closer I moved my hand up until I felt her inner thigh as she moved her legs further apart. The tips of my fingers brushed her labia since she had taken her panties off long before entering the room.

She let out a soft moan trying to conceal her excitement by biting her lip. Slowly I pushed her lips apart and found her clit. Starting in a circular motion I moved my fingers around her clit feeling her wetness.

Faster, I picked up the pace as I could feel her start to tremble a little.

She was leaning back in her chair now pushing harder on my fingers wanting to cum for me in a room full of people.

My hand was moving faster and faster as my fingers felt her warmth and entered her pussy.

A loud moan escaped her lips and a few heads turned towards her. Still the darkness of the hall and the sound of the video did not allow us to be revealed.

Her body moved against my hand harder and my hand moved faster until I could feel her tremble and withdraw slightly. Her head fell forward and she tensed as she climaxed.

I pulled my hand away just as the speaker was starting to talk again. The lights were turned up slightly has the started to introduce the second video. It was my cue to leave.

Grabbing my bag off the floor I placed the panties that she had given me just moments before entering the hall in her bag next to her chair. I then stood up and walked out of the room. There was no look back but I knew she was smiling.

What a way to start a business meeting.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


I have to admit. I have quite a crush on a fellow blogger. I admitted it to her today while chatting with her on my google chat. I owe quite a bit to her and the other bloggers that have followed her over the years but I have also been an avid reader of her blog and admirer of her posts and pictures and everything else.

Her blog has been mentioned on here before but I felt that I should mention her again, because she has inspired me to maintain a constant update of my life on here no matter what I write about.

We also had a discussion regarding posting pictures again. I had this idea a while back but never did post any pictures. Since we no longer have half nekkid Thursday I thought that maybe I would start posting some of the outtakes of those photos. You know the ones that you try to take and the flash goes off too soon, or the angle is not right or you almost knock yourself out trying to take a naked picture of you while doing a handstand.

So to start this and hopefully keep it going after here is my first shot:

Hope you like it.

Thank you Emmy. You truly are a wonderful person.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


Yesterday was a day of reconnecting.

I reconnected with a good friend through google and she asked me how everything was going with my wife. I answered quite honestly that things are good but we are distant.

While I have been pretty distant with this friend and I do not really know her other than online, we do have pretty good connection were able to continue our relationship where we left off.

That, however, is a lot harder to do with my wife.

The funny thing is that I have had some brief connections with my friend over these years but it was like things were back where they were before our lapse in communication. 

With my wife, I have a harder time reconnecting, and we never had a lapse in communication in the literal sense. 

Maybe that comes from living together for so long, that you lose what you found most interesting in this person and your conversations become stagnant. Our communication was never really that great but we did have a lot of common interests and enjoyed each others company.

These past few months I have attempted to rekindle our relationship on many levels and it has been working slowly but surely but there is still a huge gap between my wife and I. Sometimes I have no idea how to bridge the gap and we just go on our daily lives.

Sometimes I think that maybe I can be more romantic or more attentive to her needs but that just seems to backfire more often than not. Or my romance is misconstrued as me trying to have sex with her.

I don't want her to think that I am being romantic purely for my benefit. I want to try to bring our relationship back to the days where we had a lot of fun together and it was not just a task or chore to spend time together.

I would not say that we are in a rut, more so we are just having a hard time reconnecting, getting back to the times when we would not want to be anywhere else but with each other.

These past eight years have been tough on our relationship, tough on a lot of things in our life. Now we are living where we want to be and both seem to be on the right path career wise, so it is time to begin our relationship together again. Unfortunately I am not sure where to start.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Complexities of Life

Last night I saw a picture of a friend on Facebook that reminded me of simpler times.

The picture was of my friend tying a fly onto his fishing rod leaning against the back of a pickup truck. The river and mountains of Montana were in the background.

I thought about my life and what has occurred since I was standing there doing the same thing 10 years ago.

Of course much of the change was brought on by the birth of my daughter, and that does change quite a bit. 

There were times that we used to go up into the mountains and camp out over the weekend. Leaving most of the complexities of life back in our suburban house.

We would bring the dogs and the fly rod and sit and watch the fire, telling stories about other times that we had doing the same thing. Even after my daughter was born we would bring the travel play yard and she would sleep in the folding crib inside the tent.

The days would be spent walking around the woods or fishing the river or just hanging by the tents.

When we moved to the south things changed quite a bit. I do not regret my decision for moving there but I look back and realize that it was not me.

I made a home for myself there but not without a lot of sacrifices. 

All that has changed now that we live back in the mountains.

Life is still complex, but we can now unwind in the mountains. I am home again. I smile all the time now when I look up and see the peaks around me. 

At some point we will get back to enjoying their splendor from a campsite. We may have missed the opportunity this year, but this is now our home and will hopefully remain that way for a long time.

A Long September

A few weeks ago I opened up an email from a friend of mine and it quite simply read,

"How ya been? September Sucked."

Of course I was intrigued by this email and wanted to make sure that she was alright, but I was also confronted with the fact that what she had said was completely true in my life too.

Had we both been subjected to so much crap that we deemed the entire month terrible. 

Lets see, on my end, my wife started a new job that basically pushed her paycheck back by six weeks. Which financially we were already strapped for cash since she quit her last job back in July and spent most of August looking for work.

Then the car trouble started. They were minor issues but when you have absolutely no spare cash they quickly become major.

It was around that time that my wife's grandfather had started to become ill, at 90 becoming ill is probably not going to end well and we all knew the inevitable.

What ended up happening was and is still a mystery to us all. Apparently while in the rehabilitation facility he decided to get out of bed, something he was not supposed to be doing. He ended up falling down and broke his neck.

Of course the strain on his body and spine was too much for him and he later died from his injuries.

While all this was happening the person that was supposed to be buying our house withdrew their offer because they did not like the inspection. We disclosed everything up front, but apparently they decided it was too much to worry about.

So I concur with my friends assessment of September. It most definitely sucked.

It seems that my friend's September was very much the same as mine. I finally did find out the reason for her email and it mirrored much of my own issues, minus the car stuff.

Well so far October has been a little better, and is looking up the later half.

And Halloween is one of my favorite holidays so I am really looking forward to that.

We shall see how it all turns out.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Thats Not Appropriate

So my daughter wanted some help with her homework, and I being the only one home was a willing volunteer.

She had to pick out a current event from the newspaper and write about it. She needed a story with the basics, who or what, where, when and how. The article she originally picked was about how one of the victims of the Colorado theater shooting felt about guns. I thought it would be a good article but she said it did not really have all the basics.

At that point we went online to look at some other articles. Now I have been a journalist for a period of my life, hard news mostly and some freelance sports writing so immediately I thought, "why not write about the people that were killed in a bar the other night." Mind you, my daughter is in the fifth grade and I was not thinking about it at the time.

"Dad," she said. "Do you really think that is appropriate for the fifth grade."

Hmm... a story about a robbery gone wrong, 5 murders in a seedy bar and the criminals trying to burn the bodies to cover up the original crime. Well it has all the basics, the who, the where, the when and the how... of course I could just see the face of the teacher as my daughter handed in her current event.

What the hell was I thinking...

I guess I got caught up in the hard news angle.

Well we decided it was much more appropriate to talk about a seasonal road closure in the Rocky Mountains. At 10 murder is not something that you should be talking about in school.

Second bit of Fiction

“Don’t turn on the light,” she cried out as I walked into the room and put my hand on the switch.

My eyes slowly adjusted to the dark as I could see a flicker of a candle near the bed. I just got off of working a late night and wanted to change into something more comfortable, but she had other ideas for me.

“Where are the kids?” I asked.

“With a friend, yes, we are all alone,” she spoke softly now.

I caught a glimpse of her body in the glow of the candlelight but my eyes still could not adjust to the dark. I heard the creak of the bed as she moved to grab my hand and guide me to the edge of the bed.

Her hands were at my belt as they unhooked the buckle and opened my pants dropping them to the floor. I was already aroused although not fully erect. She pulled my cock free from my shorts and ran her lips along the head. I groaned and arched my back a little, my senses were so attuned in the darkness I could almost hear her smile.

Wrapping her mouth around my cock, she slid it fully into her and in one motion back out again. Teasingly she put her tongue along the base of my now fully erect cock and ran it up and around the head. She again swallowed it and I could feel it deep in her throat. She had never deep throated me before and it felt fantastic.

I could feel her mouth withdraw again and she pulled me closer until my knees were on the bed. I unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it off, throwing it on the floor.

“Lay down,” she spoke softly. I of course obliged not wanting this moment to end. She pulled my pants and shorts completely off as I could feel her body gently move up mine. I could feel her breath at my ear now and feel her hands on my arms. With one quick motion she slid the restraints over my right hand and pulled tightly. Before I could protest she was tightening down the left one as well.

Feeling the rope around my ankle now, I realized I was in for more than I expected. She tied both ankles to the bed leaving me naked and spread eagled. The candle flickered as if a door or window had opened and I realized she was gone.

Faintly I could hear voices outside the bedroom, but could not tell what was being said or even if it was from the television in the next room, then she entered again.

“What is going on?” I called out to her. Her only reply was a slow “Shhh.”

Then I felt the bed move slightly as the weight of her body settled on the edge one leg at a time. Her body was moving over mine but all I could make out were shadows and then I felt her weight on top of me. Feeling her hair on my face I could make out a faint smell of something I did not recognize. As her body slid down mine she bent in to kiss me. There was something about her lips that felt strange, as my mind started wandering I felt her pussy touch the head of my cock.

I tried to pull the restraints so that I did not have to prolong this agony but they were tighter than I expected.

Then I felt the tip enter her wet slit and we both let out a moan in unison.

She rocked her hips back on my pelvis pulling me deeper inside her as she began to fuck me. The pace quickened as did her breathing and I so ever wanted to touch her breasts.

I could barely make out her shape as she rocked rhythmically on my body. Our shadows danced on the walls from the flickering flame. Her hands were pushing down on my chest as she leveraged herself for deeper, harder penetration.

I arched up to meet her downward thrusts feeling her body tense with each connection. I closed my eyes and held my breath for a brief moment as my body climaxed in an intense orgasmic convulsion. She continued to thrust and let out a moan, her body collapsing on mine in sheer exhaustion.

We stayed that way for a few minutes, her on top of me breathing heavy, my semi-erect cock still inside her. I wanted to put my arms around her but the restraints were still in place. She slowly got up off of me and whispered in my ear, “thank you.”

My mind again wondering, wondering why she was thanking me. Then I could see a brief light from the hallway and she was gone again.

I closed my eyes and listened to the darkness until I finally felt a hand on my ankle loosening the restraints. She untied me and walked back out into the hallway.

I cleaned myself up put my pants back on and went out to tell her how much I loved her. When I entered the kitchen she was seated at the table with, to my surprise, her recently divorced sister who had a big smile on her face.

Feeling my face flush it took me less than a second to realize that my wife had used me to satisfy her sister’s desire, and I loved every minute of it.

Friday, October 5, 2012

A Little Bit of Fiction

So until this time I have posted factual stories on this blog, but having a bit of a dry spell with both real life and writing I decided to post some stories that I had submitted to possibly be included in a book of short erotica stories but did not get selected...

So here goes, hope you like it.

Whack, the force of the strike made Jeff cringe. The restraints held as he fell back on them awaiting the next blow. He could feel the wind move slightly as the next crack was felt on his backside.

That one hurt, he thought, much more than was expected. But the prearranged agreement was that anything goes until the word was spoken. He was not going to let her break him and she knew that, but she also knew where the line was ultimately drawn.

The gasps from the crowd were barely heard with the ringing in his ears. She was going to put her mark on him this time, much to his pleasure as his pain.

The leather clad Elise smiled as she swung the paddle once again. Hanging from the cross Jeff could only drop his head and whimper. She loved a man that whimpered but still held up to her punishment.

One more whack from the paddle and she decide he was done being punished in this way and released him from the restraints, as he stumbled away from the center of the room.

It would be a long time for him to be able to sit properly again so she commanded him to get on all fours, to which he complied entirely. Elise motioned to one of the other girls in the corner of the room to take care of him and she obliged because she too was a slave to Elise.

The girl, naked accept for her fishnet stockings, got on her back underneath Jeff and put his cock in her mouth. She sucked enthusiastically, trying desperately to please her mistress. The crowd just watched and wondered how long Jeff would last.

Mixing pain and pleasure was something that Jeff had only started to experience, and the feelings were fantastic. Like many men who were dominant in their normal lives, he was completely submissive when it came to sex.
Completely exhausted he could barely raise his head, although the feeling of having his cocked sucked in this way made him forget about the beating he just took on the cross. Nearly spent he mustered enough energy to push into her mouth meeting her every move.

“Do not come for me yet,” he heard Elise say behind him. “I am not finished with you.”

It was then that he felt the cool lube against his ass and realized that he was about to be anally penetrated. She placed the tip of the strap-on against his asshole and pushed ever so gently into him. The pain once again returned, despite the desire to be pegged for months now this was his first time.

He tried to concentrate on the girl with his cock in her mouth but the pain kept returning to his mind. Elise pushed harder and he could feel her thighs against his bruised ass and realized she was fully inside him now.

The pain was slowly going away and an incredible feeling was starting to take over. His cock was harder than he had ever remembered and as she began to thrust into him he was overwhelmed with ecstasy.

Elise grabbed his hips and pushed harder as the other girl sucked him deep, he was now in a place he never knew existed.

“You like it when I fuck your ass slave,” Elise asked.

“Yes mistress,” Jeff replied. “Fuck me harder, please mistress.”

Jeff’s body shuddered as she thrust into him.

“Do not come for me yet.” She commanded yet again.

Jeff tried so hard to not release into the girl’s mouth. He knew if he did so it would mean more punishment and he would wait even longer the next time.

He felt Elise pull the fake cock from his ass and was left wanting so much more. Despite his first time after the initial pain it actually felt incredible.

He tried to look around the room, but he was so tired from the entire ordeal he could barely see what was going on and then he felt the pressure on his ass once again, although this time it felt different. More lube was being applied and he could feel something push into him again. Jeff tensed up this one was a lot bigger than the first.

It was then that he heard the male voice from behind him, “just relax” the voice said.

The pain was back but less than before. He was stretched from the initial fucking and while he had never been with a man before he felt his body relax and he allowed himself to succumb to the pleasure.

A few seconds passed, Jeff could feel the man fully inside of him now and slowly withdrawing his cock from his ass. The lube helped as the man quickly picked up the pace and really started fucking his ass.

The girl was still sucking on his cock as Jeff realized he was about to come.

“You now have my permission to release,” he heard Elise say. And no sooner did he hear those words did his body begin to convulse as he release into her mouth.

The man kept pushing harder and harder into him until he heard the man moan and felt the spasm of the man’s cock in his ass.

The man pulled his cock free from Jeff’s ass, and he heard Elise’s voice tell the girl to clean him up.

She moved from beneath him and Jeff felt her tongue on his ass as she licked up all the fluids that were no leaking from inside him.

Jeff asked his mistress if he was done, and she replied that he was as he collapsed in a heap on the floor.

He could hear the murmur and applause from the crowd as he closed his eyes engrossed in the euphoria of the entire situation.

Friday, August 17, 2012

An Update of Sorts

Just over a month ago I was feeling extremely depressed. Things at home were going pretty poorly as my wife seemed to be heading for some major depressive episode, my job was busy but finances were still strained and my daughter was having a hard time adjusting to the new place.

Well, things have changed quite drastically from that point, and mostly for the good.

My wife is now working two jobs although they are both part-time. She seems much happier aside from the occasional stress from working two jobs and my daughter has a good amount of friends that we barely see her during the day.

I spent last week on a job that took me into the heart of the Rockies and I was loving every minute of it. 

So needless to say things are almost back to normal for the most part and my depression is now in check.

Honestly, I think the shift in my wife's medication changed her mood quite a bit for the better and her leaving her last job helped as well.

We had morning sex a few weeks ago as I mentioned in a previous post, but it is still not on a regular basis and all very vanilla.

I find myself staring at my wife at times. She seems to be getting more beautiful as she gets older. I was in my daughters room the other day and saw a picture from when my wife worked for a park in NYC, and thought of how beautiful she looked.

It was a picture of her and her friend from a newspaper article about two blonds from California working at a park in Staten Island. Yes she basically was being interviewed because she was this beautiful blond in a very unlikely place.

There is this newscaster on the local news channel that I think is gorgeous, of course she is 24 with blond hair and blue eyes, recently I have found myself thinking, my wife looked better at 24 then she does, so she will not look any better than my wife does at 39.

If only our intimacy was where I want it to be, our lives would be perfect now.

Of course financially we are still struggling a bit, but that seems to be the norm these days. At least we pretty much have everything that we need right now and that is saying a lot.


I found a notebook of poetry that I had written years ago in an old box after we moved.

Back in high school and college I would carry around this notebook and write what I felt at the time. Some of the poems were interesting to read again, some I could not comprehend why I was even thinking that way.

After reading quite a few of the poems I started to wonder why I don't write poetry anymore. Is it that I do not know what to write about, am I uninspired, am I just too busy.

I used to read a lot of poetry back then... no not the romantic kind, more of the existentialist type, trying to find who I was through the words that I read and subsequently wrote.

I donated some of my poetry books right before I moved recently, some of the ones that I have not opened in years. I probably should have kept them but I did not see myself reading them anytime soon, and they should be enjoyed by someone that would actually read them.

Right before I donated the books, I thought about giving them to my daughter. At some point I hope that she will be reading the same works that I enjoyed. I know she will read the classics, but I do wonder how much emphasis they will have on the great works.

My daughter is heading into the fifth grade next week. A grade that changed my life. It was the fifth grade that I finally was able to overcome my brothers shadow and figure out my path. It was the 5th grade that led me to science and writing and discover the love of reading.

A lot of this was because of the teacher that I had then, not necessarily that it was what was being taught at that grade level. Of course I have high aspirations for my daughter and the fifth grade.

I hope that she will find the same things that I did at that age.

At least I know I will encourage her to do so.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A Morning Surprise

A soft growl woke me as the light began to stream through the shades.

"Sasha," I said, "go back to sleep."

She looked up at me from the edge of the bed and growled again.

"Fuck, it's too early to take you out."

Seeing that the light had just started streaming through the shades I knew it was before six.

Sasha stood up wagged her tail and stretched always looking cute in that way. Of course I dragged my feet out of bed and stood up, still trying to steady myself on sleepy legs.

I pulled my shorts and shirt on and grabbed my sandals as I headed for the door. The dogs sensing that they were going outside started barking and jumping around. I put on their leashes and headed outside.

After a few minutes and the dogs doing their business I was back up the stairs and into the apartment. At that time I was thinking maybe we could have sex this morning, it was still early and I could go back to bed, my wife is not working yet so I thought this would be perfect.

So I pulled off my shorts and shirt and climbed back into bed. Immediately I went over to her and put my arm around her caressing her side since she was now on her back. My hands moved across her stomach and gently tickled her skin.

She responding slightly to my touch and then asked if I could tickle her back, a favorite for her relaxation.

So she flipped over and I pulled her shirt up so that I could softly touch her back.

My hand moved along her back and under her shorts feeling the soft curves of her butt.

When she did not respond with her normal, "what are you doing?" I pulled at the waistband of her shorts allowing me better access.

Leaning over her body I kissed her on the neck and pulled her closer to me in an attempt to bring her over onto her back. She turned over as my hand went under her shirt and touched the underside of her breast moving closer to her nipple.

She smiled, a soft smile, still laden with sleep.

My fingers touched her nipples and she did not protest. I kissed her cheek and moved over top of her, pulling her shorts off as I did.

Brushing the inside of her thigh with my hand, my fingers slowly made it down to her pussy and started rubbing her clit. "Be gentle," she said, "I am really sensitive."

Slowly I rubbed her clit. "Maybe we should just have sex?" She said. "I don't think I will come otherwise."

Pulling my boxers off I placed the head of my cock at her opening and pushed slowly until it was all the way inside. Withdrawing just as slow, I wanted to prolong the feeling.

Pushing deeper and faster my cock was pounding into her now as she moaned and gripped the bed sheets. Feeling close to orgasm I slowed down and worked it slightly in and out. Then I pulled out and got on top grabbing the back of her thighs so I could watch my cock glide inside of her.

Again I moved faster until I was close to coming and slowed down to the point where I was barely moving but deep inside.

Slowly guiding it in and out of her I watched as I pushed deep. Her breasts bounced as my pace quickened once again and I told her I was close. Not wanting it to end I again slowed down and let the feeling last.

A few more minutes of this and I could not hold out any longer, pushing as fast and hard as I could I watched her breasts bounce and told her I was about to come. I am not sure why we decide to tell our partners at that moment, but it always seems to be the thing to do.

With one final push I released inside of her. We sat in that position for a little longer until I asked if she was ready and then pulled out of her.

We both got cleaned up and I jumped in the shower, still with plenty of time to get to work.

On the way out the door I told her that I loved her like I do every morning and smiled as the door closed behind me.

Later in the day, I texted her that I had fun this morning and I told her that I loved her again.

A few minutes later the phone buzzed, apparently my daughter read the text that I sent and wanted to know what kind of fun I had with mommy that morning.

A few more years and then I will have to tell her, until then, all we said was that we had a really good conversation.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Sexual Experimentation

As with most couples my first long term loving relationship was also the one that I experimented most sexually in. Although at the time I did not realize how far my sexual appetite would reach, I did my fair share of experimenting with her and we both seemed to grow with experience.

I was a late bloomer, well at least later than most of my friends. In high school I was multifaceted, a jock, a nerd, a stoner. I could hang well with any crowd, although I was somewhat social awkward. Part of the reason is that I am a very emotional and passionate person. I always had trouble with 'falling in love' too easily and was told that I wear my emotions on my sleeve, whatever that really means.

At seventeen, I had barely been involved with anyone for longer than a few weeks and even then I did not spend much time in any type of sexual situation, let alone really 'made out' with anyone.

It was at a party one night that I met my soon to be girlfriend and also the one that I did most of my experimenting with. She was also socially awkward, although mainly with the opposite sex. She was beautiful, although throughout a good part of her childhood had the wonderful bad skin that a lot of the teenage population was plagued with. 

She was irish, with the pale skin, dark hair and blue eyes, in addition to the redhead irish look these are my two favorite types. And of course our mutual friends helped set us up that evening. We talked and laughed and when it was time to go to get cigarettes for our mutual friends, she drove and I sat in the front seat.

When our friends went into the store we talked about our lives and became interested in each other.

It was a few weeks later that I found myself in her basement with my hands down her pants feeling her wetness. That was the first pussy I touched and I found myself wanting to taste it, so in that teen age awkwardness we ended up in a 69 position on the couch, barely able to keep from falling off, but there I was licking my first pussy.

We did this for quite some time after that day, she would give me a blow job and I would eat her out, but sex was still out of the question. I don't remember ever coming during those times but I had no idea what I was really doing and she was just as inexperienced. 

When we finally decided to have sex, I rushed off to the pharmacy to purchase the condoms and we tried to think of a place to finally have sex. We decided on my house although the details are vague after 23 years. I remember a blanket by the pool, and decided that would not work. Then going into my house and using the couch. There was one time where I proceeded to call out, 'its in' although that was definitely not the first time we had sex. 

The hard thing for us was the fact that I am fairly large in girth and many women have complained about my size. It may not be the longest but definitely is pretty wide.

After that we pretty much tried every variation we could think of, standing, sitting, her on top, reverse cowgirl, doggy, missionary and what became our favorite, spooning. We were of course two horny teenagers that could not get enough of it, even in the back seat of my honda civic hatchback, which is no small feat since I am 6'2". 

In college we ended up at the same university and continued dating. The first year was tough, although she had a roommate that was never there and ended up dropping out after the first semester and she ended up with a single. There were a few memorable experiences, one of my favorites was when I walked in to her room after classes and she dropped to her knees and took my cock in her mouth as I ran my fingers through her hair.

Our second year in college was where most of the experimentation took place. She had moved off campus and I was living in a fraternity house. All of her roommates were pretty and she had some great parties. A few of which we ended up all naked together. While none of us had sex with anyone else it was still quite a turn on when everyone was walking around naked.

It was one of those nights that I had my tongue in her ass for the first time. I had her on all fours and was spreading her labia and flicking my tongue along her clit. At one point I ran my tongue from her clit all the way to her asshole. She squirmed and moaned quite loudly so I continued. My tongue would play for a minute at her ass as her moaning would get louder and louder. I could tell she was about to come and focused more closely on her clit. She came very loudly and collapsed in a heap on the bed.

That was the initial point where I realized I love playing with her ass. Many times after that we ended up in the same position but I was still uncertain whether I could actually have anal sex with her.

Until one night, when she decided to stay in my room at the fraternity. We had both been drinking a little bit and ended up in my loft. I was fucking her in the spoon position when I pulled out and put my cock on her asshole. Slowly I applied pressure and asked her if this was okay. She replied to just go slow, and so I entered her. I pushed a little bit at a time until it was almost all the way in and relaxed for a minute so she could get used to it. It was of course extremely tight and I wanted to savor every bit of it. So I reached around and stroked her clit while just remaining deep in her ass.

After a little bit I pulled out and pushed back in slowly until she could take more of it. She was still really tight and after a few minutes of going back and forth I decided to just go back to my cock in her pussy, until we both came in a wild frenzy.

We tried many more times after that and while we were never all that successful we still had a lot of fun doing it. At one point we discussed the possibility of really making it work, but it always seemed to be something that we would do in the midst of other things.

We broke up not too long after all of this, mainly due to the fact that I was having fun sexually but emotionally I was not present in the relationship. Although a few years later when we were both single we started the whole friends with benefits relationship and that was a fun time. We even had sex in the gondola at Squaw Valley to emulate the classic Hot Dogs movie of the 80s, and practiced the art of mutual trimming of the pubic region in the Circus Circus hotel in Reno, Nevada. 

Experimentation at that time was a lot of fun. There were times that I wish I could have tried more with her, she seemed as adventurous as I was when it came to sex. She talked about trying to have a threesome at one point but we never were that serious about it. I think that was when I had a dildo in her pussy while she was sucking my cock. She said the sensation was overwhelming.

Unfortunately we grew apart again and like before I was mostly to blame for it. But my experimenting was pretty much lost after her, most of my partners have been fairly vanilla or just not that into sex. There have been times where I have experimented with a girl in the virtual world, basically mutual masturbation on webcam, but that is the furthest I have gone in experimenting with anyone else.

And of course the mutual masturbation was a lot of fun, however there is a lot more desire of other pursuits that I would like to fulfill at some point. Years ago, my wife was willing to experiment to some extent but mostly it was talk and never did we try anything out of the ordinary. Mostly sex in different places but never unusual sex.

I consider myself to be somewhat kinky. I like the imagery of BDSM and would love to practice, but I also know my limits while being in a committed relationship. I would love if my wife would be interested in experimenting but currently sex has been a bit few and far between, so I am left to my own devices.

How do I bring up that I want to be fucked in the ass by her using a strap on when I barely even touch her now? I have put my finger and tongue in her ass in the past but that has always been met by 'What do you think you are doing?'

The desire to play has led me to sites that cater to such things, but as always I do not think I would ever play with anyone without her approval or in the perfect scenario her being with me. To me sexual experimentation is a lot more fun with someone you completely trust. Someone that would not judge you to be weird or have strange ideas about sex. Unfortunately for me I think that ship has sailed. Guess I will always have my fantasies.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Quite Aromatic...

Not typically what I would use to describe the female aroma, but that is exactly what my wife used the other day when she was talking about her period.

We were sitting on the bed talking about our upcoming anniversary, when she started talking about trying to get her depo shot once again. When we first moved out here we talked about having another child and while I am not sure I really do want another child, I went along with what she was thinking at the time.

So she stopped her birth control and we waited for her periods to return to normal. She was on depo-provera for the past year or so and the doctors said it could take months before she returns to normal. During this time we have determined that part of her emotional issues were caused by hormones and that despite wanting to have another child her mental health is more important.

Unfortunately she was still supposed to wait for her next period to get her shot, mainly due to the fact that the depo could cause serious birth defects if given when pregnant.

Also it is not as effective initially and there is a chance that if we had sex during this time she could still get pregnant.

Well there we were sitting on the bed talking about our anniversary, when the subject of her period came up. She explained that she was feeling all the tell tale signs of the cycle, cramps, fatigue, irritability, etc and she thought for sure it would happen last week. But it was the last thing that she said that made us cringe and laugh at the same time.

"Plus," she said, "I am quite aromatic down there." Phew, I thought, that is not something that I really wanted to hear about. Smell can be a sex killer as I can attest to personally.

Although in reality a strong feminine odor is rather intoxicating, however you should never confuse feminine odor with actual body odor which is a whole other subject for a better day.

We both had a good laugh over that one, and now that she is back on the shot, hopefully our sex life will get back on track.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Thinking - A New Path

Since I started this as more of a personal blog to discuss my sexuality and other issues related I have begun to think about the purpose of my writing on this blog.

In the past few weeks and months I have strayed from the original theme and have discussed more of my personal issues and problems which is okay for a few posts here and there but would rather keep Blue Eyed Bader as a blog about sexuality instead of a personal blog that I use to vent from time to time.

Therefore I am thinking of starting a new blog, still anonymous but more of a blog about mental health awareness and the issues I have dealt with in the past. Keep most of my personal problems with mental health on the other blog and focus exclusively on sexuality on this blog.

I would also be using the other blog as a format to help other readers with their issues either dealing with mental health themselves or dealing with a partner with mental health issues.

Hopefully people can use the blog as more of a self help type blog and can actually open it and read it at work or other areas, and that way they will not stumble upon my bare ass in any of the pages. Of course they can always come over to this blog when they want to see that.

Additionally I think that if I do that I can spend more time writing fun things on this blog and keep the more serious issues on the other blog and that way I can post more pictures of me and stories of sexual escapades here.

What say you:? I think it would be nice to do that, of course I would be catering to a slightly different audience then the one here and don't expect you all to be active participants in the other blog, but that way my audience here would not have to read numerous posts about my personal issues and keep this a more fun interactive blog about sex.

Happy Thursday to all, I think I need to keep posting those HNT pictures, maybe this evening. I know I promised last week but things got a little off track.

Monday, July 9, 2012

A Sunday Morning Conversation

If you read the post from last week you would know that I have been a little depressed lately, although things had started to look up. However Friday afternoon I received a text from my wife claiming that she was not doing well again and decided to stay home after lunch.

Apparently she was having another panic attack and decided to take a few attivan to help her feel better. So I called her work and let them know she would not be returning for the day.

It took a lot of energy not to just pack up and leave work early to see if I could do anything to help, but I have learned that sometimes it is best just to let her rest and talk to her later.

Unfortunately for me she had taken quite a bit of attivan and was completely out of it when I got home. No, she did not take enough for me to rush her off to the hospital, I have been there before, but I keep warning her that one day 'not enough' could still be fatal.

She was still somewhat coherent and could move around the apartment, I could just tell she was very relaxed and would not be able to have a serious conversation.

So Saturday I let her sleep in a bit. When she finally got up we decided to go to the arts festival across town. It was an okay day aside from the fact that we had torrential rains and my wife fell in Nordstroms on the way back to the car. 

That night was pretty uneventful. We ate dinner my daughter went to a friends house and my wife went to bed early, pretty much routine on Saturday night.

So Sunday morning when my wife came out to the living room she decided to tell me her feelings.

"I have made a decision," she said. "One that is probably not a good one. I decided that I am not going back to work again."

At the time, I was feeling better, but this hit me hard in the gut. I replied, "Okay." I knew she hated her job but like most people I was hoping that she would try to find a new job while continuing to work. She is not like most people though and I should know this by now.

So we talked about it and then she said, "Also, it is unfair for me to be with you right now, because I feel that I am just bringing you down again." So I asked, "Do you want to separate?" 

She said she was not sure, but did not want me to feel depressed anymore, and she felt that she was the reason for most of my depression.

We have both considered this before, but usually we work things out and move on. If you are a regular reader on this blog you would know some of the things that I have gone through and would see why this would not be a terrible idea.

So we considered it, talked some more, thought about our daughter and how she would feel. While this would probably be a good thing for the both of us, it would be devastating for our daughter. I know that kids are resilient but our daughter already has some emotional issues that we are working through this would completely put her over the edge.

After a pretty long conversation back and forth I told her what I felt. Part of the reason she hates her job is that she is a day care provider for 18 months to 2 year olds, 15 of them. Remember what my daughter was like at that age, I could not imagine 15 of them running around. So I understand her frustration with the job. I just also understand the financial burden and how it would affect the entire family.

We came up with a compromise, essentially an ultimatum for her employer. If she could get in a different class she would stay, otherwise instead of quitting immediately she would put in her two weeks notice and start looking for another job.

With the economy the way that it is I am extremely nervous about her finding a job, but continuing on in this one would probably be much worse in the long run and could either end in hospitalization, divorce, or even death if she takes the wrong combination, whatever that outcome the financial and emotional burden would be far worse than a temporary set back.

The rest of the day went pretty well, with some cleaning and organizing and more talking about today, but it put me back into the funk that I was getting out of on Friday. We decided not to separate and she told me she really did not want to, but was feeling guilty for the way that I have been feeling.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like without her... if you have read this blog from the beginning you would probably be wondering the same thing. Then I think about what her life would be without me, am I an enabler? Would she be forced to be more independent and get off a lot of the medications she is on? Would she be happy? Would she finally go back to school and do what she really wants?

I am not sure how to answer any of those questions without giving up hope that together we can do all those things and more.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Not a Monumental Occasion

So this is my 100th post and it is not a monumental occasion. I was trying to be witty or funny or informative or anything but what I am about to write about but I just have not been in the mood for anything.

Truth is, I have been depressed. No, not badly where I need professional help, although I do think that maybe a therapist would help. I just have been feeling down lately.

There has been a lot on my mind and things have been a little difficult emotionally recently. Of course the majority of my issues are financial. It was not all unexpected. With the move and the wife not working we knew that at some point things were going to get a little tough and actually we have been doing pretty well for the most part but it has finally caught up with us.

It has only been six weeks since my wife started working again and we were spending quite a bit getting things straightened out with the new place and the new life here in the mountains, so inevitably we knew we would face some sort of financial crunch. I just was not as prepared for it as I wanted to be.

We burned through our savings and now I am looking at trying to rebuild it, but of course this stresses me out. Its a ruthless cycle. The summer is always a tough one for us. Like most families we spend more on everything during the summer, but usually we have a savings for this. This year has been a little harder. So I have declared us over budget and now we have to reel in the difference.

And that is the majority of my depression.

The other part of my depression is my motivation. This is the reason that it has been so long between posts. And it is not only this blog that has been suffering. I have business clients that I design web sites for and I have not been doing any work on the sites in quite a while. I also have another business venture that I have been working on for over a year now and still am quite a bit behind.

The depression causes me to lose motivation, then I get depressed because I have not spent any time on the things that I enjoy doing, like this blog or designing websites.

At least I have been able to enjoy the new location and the mountains, and I know that we will get back on track financially in the coming months. Most importantly I realize my depression and the symptoms and have been working to make myself feel better, living with someone that has severe depression I know what a downward spiral it can be sometimes.

So for this 100th post of my blog, I apologize for not being funny, or witty or informative or even naked, although that may have to come tonight since it is Thursday. I just do not feel much of anything right now but do know that I am on the way up again.

Hope everyone had a happy 4th!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


No, I am not going to start writing political statements on my sex friendly blog. I just wanted to post the above picture and ask you, is this really the best picture Fox News could find for a story promoting Romney.

To me he looks like the epitome of a slick politician... if I did not know who this guy was I would not trust a word he says... <-- do not read into this whether I trust him or not. This is just based on the above photo and the smug look on his face.

"I'm Jack Bader and I don't approve this message."

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Traveling Again...

So I have been traveling again. This time somewhere in the midwest. It is tough because it is the holiday weekened but this trip has been pretty good.

Lets see, I owe you all several posts. I promised keeping up with my posts but have been a little behind in some of the posting, sorry about that.

So I will have to make up for it with some other things.

This week I have connected with a fellow blogger through cyberspace and have had some great conversations. It is nice to have someone to talk with while I am sitting in my hotel room watching bad tv.

It gets lonely traveling, although I like the fact that I get out of the office quite a bit now. I was working from home for the six months prior to relocating and starting this new job with the same company.

Anyway, I will post some stories over the next few days while I am traveling and hopefully update you on some things that have happened and stories that I have left unfinished.

In the meantime here is a HNT shot from my hotel.. not a very good shot, and not a good pose but I only have my cell phone camera with me and it does not take the best pictures...


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

We had a moment.

As I mentioned in a previous post, weekend sex is the only type of sex that I can now have. And the three times I have had sex since I have been back from the field is a record for the past month.

Of course this Sunday after a failed attempt I started wondering if the pattern would once again reveal itself. The pattern of sex maybe once every third month. I did tell her that I was enjoying the new pattern, and could not go back to the sex maybe 5 times a year one, and she agreed but that did not help the situation.

I know this week has been hard and it will continue to be hard with Mother's day coming up and it being the first since my wife's mom passed away last year. She is also still unemployed and has been trying to find a job. So the stress and depression have been a lot for her.

She told me the other night that she was not happy with the way our relationship was going. I was surprised because since we have moved I have been nothing but supportive, caring, loving, giving, etc... I have tried to keep my anger down to a minimum and am in love with this place and everything about it. I was not pushing her to find a job yet. I was helping with my daughter as much as I could and doing everything that I had been doing in the past and not once complaining about it.

Our relationship, to me, was better than it has been in years. We were talking and laughing and spending more time together and having sex.

But her depression got hold and it became a downward spiral. That is the problem with depression, especially with her. It does not take much to bring her down and when she gets down everything is terrible including our rekindled relationship.

So I got upset, tried to rationalize our relationship with her and how I was feeling and said one of the worst things that you can say to a depressed person. 'What is wrong with you?' 'I just don't understand'.

Realizing that I had said those words, I just decided it would be better to go watch TV and give her some space. The conversation from that point would have been anti-productive and could have led to worse things being said.

A short while later she called me into the bedroom and apologized to me. She explained that she felt so lost at times and when she needed to call her mom, she knew she would not be there. I said I was sorry too, I told her that whatever she needed I would be there.

So maybe the old pattern will not reveal itself again, or maybe it will. The only thing that I can do is keep trying and hoping that she will open up to me more than she has in the past. It took her 10 years to find peace in her fathers death, I hope that she will find peace a lot sooner this time.

I know I have learned a lot since then and hope that with my support we will be able to get through this time together.

Everything including our relationship has been better since we moved, I just hope that we do not sink back to our old selves.

We had a moment, that I hope will last a lot longer.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

My New Life in Photos...

Well I promised you pictures, so here goes...

Lake up in the Mountains...

Same lake different view...

This is what I see from my office window everyday... minus the snow now.

A brief trip during recent field work.

The clouds looked a lot better in person... like giant cotton balls.

This is the view from our apartment window.. a storm coming in.

That is all for now. Hope you enjoy it.

Friday, April 27, 2012

The internet is for porn...

I have come to the realization that internet porn does not really get me off in the same way that it used to. I used to be into some pretty hardcore stuff, but have since changed my attitude towards a lot of it.

I find myself somewhat turned off by the extreme images, and find myself more drawn to the real porn. The not so perfect couples that feature women whose boobs actually bounce when having sex. Mainstream porn has become so ridiculously fake.

My go to site is a cam site. I find that I like to interact with the girls, although I rarely even type anything into the chat window. Because of this realization I spend my time searching some of the adult personal sites to find people to chat with. I still have yet to find anyone that I reach out to, mostly because I feel awkward just starting the conversation with these folks.

I do have one friend that I chat with occasionally but her and I do not have sexual chats anymore. We are great friends and I love talking with her but we talk about everything but sex.

I see many people on blogs talking about camming with fellow users or chatting with other people and I am always wondering how they started.

There were a few people that I started to chat with when I first started but we have not talked in quite a while and while we talked about sex a lot of the conversations were more humor than actually for arousal.

So how do you do it... the ones that find people to chat with? I am not one to go to chat rooms to find women, I wonder if most of them are not men. I tried fetlife but also wonder about that site seeing that it seems a lot of the men on their are jackasses and only looking for sex. Maybe that is a broad generalization but when most of the women talk about not accepting any friend request from random guys unless they know them or have met them before it makes me wonder about the people on the site.

I know you can do a lot with Ashley Madison but I still have yet to buy any credits for the site. Maybe I need to do that, but I am not looking for an physical affair... so I dont want to spend the money. So where do others turn to? Are there other sites that I do not know about?

Thursday, April 26, 2012

When will we...

This is just outrageous.

A few years ago I saw Bullshit on cable, the one with Penn and Teller... it was an okay show but the one that struck me was the one on the Boy Scouts and their so called "Moral Agenda".

The show focused on the fact that the leaders of the Boy Scouts were leaders in the Mormon church. Now I do not have anything against what religion you belong to, but religion should have no part in the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts. We are trying to teach our kids to be better leaders, how can they be better leaders if they can not learn tolerance on all levels?

The article states:
The organization said it believes Scouting is not the right place for youngsters to be exposed to issues of sexual orientation.
Of course I agree with that statement, but where does it ever say that she exposed the kids to the issues of her sexual orientation.

A few sentences letter it states:
 Crystal Sabinsky said: "My son asked me last night, 'Why did Jen leave? Why is she in trouble?' He doesn't understand."
To me that indicates that the kids were never once subjected to any issues related to sexual orientation.

Let me tell you there are a lot more men out there that have probably subjected these kids to a lot worse than this woman has.

When will we learn that sexual orientation has nothing to do with your moral character...

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Next Chapter

I have begun the next chapter in my life.

I will be writing more...
I will be happier...
Hopefully there will be more sex... at least it has started out that way...
I will post more pictures, maybe not naughty ones, but ones that I take of where I live...
I will share the next chapter of my life with you.

Here are some highlights:

  • We moved - I touched on this already, but this is a big part of the next chapter, especially since the move has resulted in me being much happier... I never knew how much I really did not like where I lived before until I moved here.
  • We have had sex three times in the past two weeks... I know to many of you this is not a huge amount but considering I have had almost as much sex in the past two weeks as I have had all year last year I am pretty happy... lets hope the trend continues.
  • Our relationship is much better than it was when we were in the south as well as her bipolar depression, this is a major step forward for us.
Those are just a few things that we have been enjoying with much more to come...

For now, just enjoy the sunrise picture I took a few weeks ago...

It was like this almost every morning before starting the field work that I was doing.


Sunday, March 25, 2012


I pause briefly, breathing in her scent.

There is nothing more intoxicating than the scent of a beautiful girl that has just walked by. With or without perfume there is something about the scent. In most cases I would rather her not to wear perfume and it just be the smell of her body that I breath in.

The senses are a wonderful thing. As I walk past her my senses fill my soul. First the sight as I see her coming, then the sound as I hear her walking then the smell as she just passes and I fill my nostrils with the air that she moves.

The only thing left is the touch, but that is what makes it even more appealing. I know that I can not touch these women so I try to heighten my other senses to appease my desire to touch.

The encounter is always so brief and the mystery of the woman adds to the desire. I never turn around to look she leaves as quickly as she enters but her scent remains for a second longer as I inhale deeply.

Her scent is intoxicating as I breath it in.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Fantasy or Reality

While traveling on the road I seem to wonder about fulfilling some of my sexual fantasies... however I never seem to go through with any of them.

What are my fantasies you might ask, well here are a few.

I want to be a submissive. Someone that the woman takes total control over and has her way with me... I want her to take me in the ass with a strap on. I want to be commanded to do things and abused.

She would force me to take my clothes off, and stand naked in front of her. Then she would tie my hands behind my back and push me down to her feet. I would lick her feet and up her legs and under her skirt where she would have no panties. She would force my head between her legs and make me lick her pussy. After that she would put on a strap on and make me suck her. I would not be allowed to fuck her. She would then force my head down to the ground and ass in the air. She would reach behind me with a lubed up finger and insert it into my ass. After I was good and lubed she would come behind me and fuck me hard. That is my ultimate fantasy.

I also have a fantasy of being in a mmf threesome. One where the woman is still in control. I am not sure if I would do anything bisexual but I sometimes wonder if I was sitting in front of a cock, would I actually suck it.

Maybe I would find a couple in the hotel bar that would invite me back to their room. They would both help me out of my clothes and the woman would get on her knees in front of me as she takes me into her mouth. The guy would finish undressing her and start playing with her tits and stroking his cock. She would take turns between my cock and her husbands. She would then lay back and spread her legs and allow me to enter her while she continued to suck her husbands cock. Then the couple would switch positions and he would take my cock in his mouth while the woman would straddle my face.

The fantasy for this sometimes changes at this point where I would then switch places and take his cock in my mouth, and she would suck me off. We would continue to do this until we all fall asleep together. That will probably always be just a fantasy for me.

Of course I dream of meeting some of my fellow sex bloggers in these hotels to compare stories and maybe act out some of my or their fantasies... this sometimes happen when I start ready some of my favorite bloggers and think of how sexy they must be in person. I have lots of crushes on fellow sex bloggers, some that turn me on much more than I ever imagined. I find myself fantasizing about a few of them and wonder if we would ever meet in real life.

I read some of the stories and think I would love it if that was me with them... and there are a few of my fantasies... maybe some day, maybe I can make a few reality.

Monday, March 12, 2012

A Month Away

We knew it was coming. A month away for work, less than a week after moving in the new apartment.

She told me she was going to bed and I was planning to take a shower. When I looked out of the curtain and saw her put in her mouth guard I thought there was no sex planned for the night before I depart.

When I climbed into bed she had her back to me, but I still came over and put my arm around her. I spoke quietly to her, apologizing for being so stressed. She said it was okay but I did not want to leave her like that. I began my usual caressing. She does not like me to caress her belly, she thinks it is too fat. I told her that I loved her.

My hands moved up and down her stomach and to her back, slowly, gently touching her. She turned back towards me and I told her that her skin was so soft.

She turned and kissed me. I placed my hand on her breast circling her nipple. She let out a low moan. My hands moved up and down her body edging closer to her pussy. When my hand touched her labia she let out a louder moan, and had to push the blanket over her mouth since our daughter was still awake in the next room.

With gentle circles my fingers massaged her clit. Working faster I could feel her body tense. My fingers moved up and down faster, pushing harder until she grabbed my arm and let out a loud moan.

I told her I wanted to fuck her with her on top. She reluctantly moved over to me and climbed on top. I pushed up into her with one swift motion and she gasped. With another swift motion I pulled out and much more slowly pushed back into her. I continued this until I picked up the pace faster and faster.

Putting her nipple into my mouth I played with her breasts with my hand. She was moaning now louder still trying to hold back so she would not be heard.

I grabbed her around the waste and flipped her onto her back and got on my knees. Placing the head on her lips I again pushed into her and started moving with a rhythm. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "does that feel good?" She tried to answer yes but could not get it out completely.

Picking up the pace I knew I was getting close and leaned down again telling her I was going to cum. She grabbed me and pulled me close and I pushed hard into her and filled her with my cum. Breathing heavy I waited for a few minutes before I pulled out holding her close.

"That was really great," I told her. "I love you."

She replied, "Yes that was, and I love you too."

It will be hard to be gone for a month, but that was a great sendoff.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Been on the Road.

So I know some of you may be wondering where I have been off to.. or at least I hope that some of you wonder.

These past few months have been a blur to me. Things have been great but busy. Busy with a move of sorts. I finally left my life in the south and have moved back to the mountains.

I am happy. The mountains are where I belong and where my family will be happiest.

Changes are good. We started a new chapter. A new story, a new life.

I cant wait to share all the experiences I will hopefully be having this time around.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentines Day

Well Happy Valentine's Day...

We had plans but my wife has been sick so we may have to put off the plans.

In about 3 weeks we will be traveling across country from our current home to a new one in the Rocky Mountains. We have lived in the Rockies before but have been living on the east coast for the past 8 years.

I can't say that I am not nervous about the move but it is for the absolute best. I will be working the same job just in a new city, one that I am very happy to be going to. The only downfall is that within the first week of arriving there I will be leaving to work on a project for almost a month.

So my wife will be left in a new location, not knowing anyone, with no job and essentially no husband. I will only be six hours away but that is enough to make it pretty tough for her.

We are looking forward to the move just not being apart so soon after for such a long time. We shall see how it works out.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoy's their day!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

15 Years of Parenting

I heard this comment today and it made me laugh.

"After fifteen years of parenting, I think I am pretty good at it."

In most cases this is true. Fifteen years at a given skill you would be an expert. If I was building houses for fifteen years I would be a master carpenter. If I was developing computer programs for fifteen years I would be an expert programmer. If I was in any career for fifteen years I should be pretty good at it.

But parenting is completely different. Of course that is because things evolve as the child gets older. Its funny because looking back the first year is probably the easiest. Oh sure it is an adjustment but its a routine that we all go through. Feed, change diapers, help them nap, repeat.

The next few years are not that hard since its mostly chasing around a toddler and making sure they are safe, the feeding, napping, diaper routine is the same until they are potty trained.

By the time the child is ready for school is when things get more difficult. You already have four or five years experience but the experience you just had is not at all what will prepare you for whats next.

Of course if you have a second child then you are managing two different tasks at the same time. Multitasking for your job is not even remotely close to multitasking as a parent. One child needs to eat, the other wants to ride their bike while dragging the dog behind her. You run outside with one child in your arms trying to rescue the dog who is now in a controlled slide across the driveway all paws out and trying to stop.

The next few years are even worse, the emotions kick in and the drama starts. God forbid you say something wrong and there is an emotional breakdown. Ultimately at some point you will hear the words, "I hate you." And we all thought after nine or ten years we would be great at something.

At fifteen you are pretty much an amateur. Which goes against everything else that you consider in life. After fifteen years of parenting according to your child, you still do not know anymore than the day that they were born.

Funny that it happens that way.