Friday, April 26, 2013

Traveling again...

My job is going good, although the company needs to rethink some of their policies. Of course I think I would be hard pressed to think of any other company that does not have similar issues.

Normally I am an office worker, but with some budget cuts and some time delays several projects are now overlapping and I am going to be out in the field.

I prefer a combination of both field and office but I usually only travel several weeks out of the year.

The field work is great, does not require a lot of thought other than the initial equipment test in the morning, and gets me outside for the better part of the day. The problem mostly is the hotel stay. The first few days are great but I tend to miss my family.

If we are out in the field for an extended period of time I spend a lot of time in my hotel room. And if said hotel room is not that comfortable I tend to get restless and cant wait to get home. Occasionally we have stayed in some nice places, but typically it is the cheapeast we can find.

The company gives us a set amount to spend each day and if we find a place cheaper we get the difference in cash, so the normal field crew would rather stay in a dump and get paid the extra than find a nice hotel and spend the full amount. I understand that philosophy because they make less than I do, but if they are out in the field for longer then they can potentially make much more than what my salary normally pays.

So of course I get to spend a lot of my time in a hotel room by myself usually watching a lot of porn.

This time I think that I may have time to concentrate on other things and have a plan to update the blog as much as I can.

This would be a good time to get a lot of my other work out of the way, since I do not have any of the other distractions I usually have.

Hopefully the daily work will not take too much out of me that I will be too exhausted at night to do anything.

Well here is to hoping. You will all know by the end of next week if my plan actually worked.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Stress

I woke up screaming last night.

The darkness was taking over my body in a dream and I was trying to push it away. The shadows surrounded me in a black haze and I screamed into my nightmare.

When I finally opened my eyes I was staring at the ceiling in my living room having fell asleep on the couch earlier in the evening. The darkness was still there in the shadows as I tried to go back asleep.

My heart kept pounding in my chest as my eyes closed once again on the room.

The shadows reappeared and I screamed back at them to force them from my mind.

I am not sure anyone else in the apartment heard me, at least from this morning no one has said a word yet. Hopefully my screams were only in my nightmare.

I have been stressed lately, not really myself. Concerned with a lot of my life and the decisions I have made over the past.

These thoughts haunt me from time to time. I try to tell myself that I have no regrets and that I continue to look forward and not behind me, but at times I see the choices I have made and wonder if they were the right ones.

Fortunately the nightmares do not last all that long and I come to realize what I have and know that the decisions I have made or did not make would have changed that.

For now though I am plagued by these thoughts and the stress that they bring.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Starting Weekend Early

Three a.m. this morning the neighbors down stairs started to arrive home. Not sure where they came from but they were loud and obviously impaired on something.

I woke up and could hear them through the open window. The conversation at one point was talking about driving while tripping. While driving under the influence of alcohol is bad, I could not imagine being able to drive while hallucinating.

I could smell the marijuana smoke come up through my window, something that I was not too happy to have with a 10 year old daughter asking me all types of questions.

Eventually they went to sleep and after a bit I did as well.

The next morning as I was living to go to take my daughter to school and myself to work I ran into one of the girls that I see there often. I am not sure if she lives there with the others or just visits from time to time.

She was in the hallway towards the front of the apartment building trying her hardest to open the door of one of the apartments. One that did not belong to anyone she knows.

I looked over at her with my daughter in tow and wonder what she is trying to do.

Leaning towards her a bit I tell her that she has the wrong apartment. Her reply was "I know, right." Definitely not coherent. So I tell her again that she wants the one in the back of the building and she just looks at me strangely.

Understanding that I am not getting through to her I decide to keep walking and let her figure it out. As I am going down the stairs my daughter looks up at her and so I tell my daughter to try to talk with her.

So my daughter asks if she is staying at the apartment with the two dogs and the girl looks at my daughter and asks, "what is that supposed to mean."

My daughter points to the back of the building and says you go back there and turn right, and the girl replies "I know!" but continues to try to open the door in the front.

Then she says can you help me open the door, to my daughter and my daughter tells her no and walks down the stairs where I am waiting.

As we drove away we could still see her there trying to get into the apartment in front of the building and I turn to my daughter and say, "See, that is what drugs do to you." My daughter replied, "She was rude and stupid."

"Exactly."

Monday, April 1, 2013

A Minor Breakthrough

My daughter spent the night at a friends house.

The last time this happened I posted about it. My wife decided to take sex completely off the table before we even went to bed.

That led to a discussion on how to fix this situation and we both decided it would take some work.

This time however it was not completely off the table. There was no discussion before bed and since it was my wife's birthday the other day and we had a great week I thought this would be a good time to try.

My wife's one rule though, mostly because she is on some medications that put her right to sleep, is that we have sex in the morning.

Morning sex is fine with me... well any sex is fine with me.

So this past Saturday I woke up a little earlier and started running my hands up and down her back.

I spent quite a while doing this until I worked up the nerve to move down.

Well maybe when I have more time I will go into the details, but there really is not much to tell.

It was a quick one, since it has been a while. I tried to make it last as long as I could but my body did not comply to well.

And of course I don't mean it was that quick, but we did not change much in the way of positions. It was just a good missionary style, slow hard fucking.

We both got to come which was what we both needed and were very happy afterward.

She even said that she was sorry that she did not want to have sex more often and that things will change.

I consider this a minor breakthrough and hopefully the start of something much much better.