Wednesday, April 30, 2014

3 AM

The other night I woke up at 3 AM.  It was quiet in our house but I could not sleep anymore.  I had to leave for work at 5:30 so I think that I woke up in anticipation of having to get up so early.


At 3 AM there is not much to do, especially since I canceled cable the other day in a fit of rage against my cable company.


Most nights at this hour I would sneak out to the couch and watch internet porn until I fall back asleep, with no internet, no television and no porn, (sort of), I was out of luck.  I sat and stared at the ceiling in my bedroom and thought about my life.


My life has been going reasonably well these past few months.  My relationship with my wife while always strained is much less strained at this point and we seem to get along.  My daughter seems to be doing well although she has that only child attitude.


The wife found a new job that is going to help her pay for her education, at least for the class she needs to complete a child care director's qualification.  They also are completely organic and that may help her eat healthy.


Not that I mind my wife getting heavy, but I know for her sake a lot of her health issues are a result of her weight gain.  So I am hoping that she will lose some weight while working this new job.


Of course my thought process is; she needs to lose some weight to be healthier, if she loses the weight she will feel better about her body, if she feels better about her body she will not be ashamed when she is naked, when she allows herself to be seen naked again she will want to be more intimate, if she wants to be more intimate we will have more sex... and who can blame me for thinking that.


Also I want to see her in yoga pants, which she will not wear right now because she thinks she is too heavy.


Let me say, I love the fact that yoga pants are worn all the time now.


Money wise we are doing well, finally building a savings again while still being able to pay off debt.  We are not to the point where we buy things that we need when we need them but we are getting there.  I still have to budget for the car repair that I need to do and hope that it does not break down before I get the money.  It will not cost all that much but I have to find the time and buy the parts to do it and that is really the issue.


We have some medical bills but we are paying them down as we go along slowly. 


My wife has been taking better care of herself, aside from the weight gain she is dressing better and every morning I watch her get dressed and wish we could have sex more often.


At 3 AM I think about all these things, and then my thoughts go to sex. 


I picture her climbing on top of me while I sit on the edge of the bed.  I feel her around my cock and look into her eyes as we begin to move into each other.  I watch her head tilt back and her eyes close and listen to her breathing. 


My cock gets hard under the covers and I turn to look at her, with her eye mask on and hear her snoring.  I think back to the days that at 3 AM I would wake her up and we would fuck and go right back to sleep and wish we could go back to that.


But I know she has to wake up early and she would be pissed at me for waking her up and it would be a long time before I could attempt to have sex with her again. 


Finally I put those thoughts out of my mind and try to go back to sleep.