So my daughter is away on a school trip, leaving us with lots of alone time.
I know that typically during this type of situation my wife seems to create all kinds of barriers between us so that I do not anticipate that being alone with her means I will have sex.
Knowing the situation before hand I usually try to tread carefully, although recently my wife went off of her birth control. I realize that if you have been reading my blog that you would wonder why she even needs birth control since we rarely have sex. Well it helps to control her emotions. We realized at some point that if she has her period she becomes more depressed.
Anyway, she recently switched doctors and the new doc has not done anything about her birth control yet so she waited too long to receive her shot and now has to wait even longer so she can get a period.
Well that being said we have been discussing the birth control issue and along with that the sex.
So when my daughter left for the trip the conversation inevitably went to what to do while she was gone. One of our other friends made the joke about having all the time alone and taking advantage of not having any kids in the house, hinting that we could have all the sex we wanted.
Well after that we talked about I and she mentioned that without birth control she did not want to have intercourse. I said well I can use a condom or just ejaculate somewhere else. She immediately said no way, I don't want to be covered in semen.
So now I can add that to the ever growing list of things that she does not like about sex. I asked her about how she felt when I came inside her and she said that is different. It is easier to clean up.
I suggested using a towel or something else and she still insisted that we wait until she gets her shot again.
So last night after she complained about her day and having a massive headache I decided to at least invest in some intimate touching. I had no intention of violating her wish of not having sex, I just thought she wanted a back massage and some simple touching.
Well I got behind her while she was checking email and started rubbing her back. At some point she checked the messages from her doctor to see if they could get her in to get the shot for the birth control, so at least I know she was feeling a bit aroused.
I did not bring up sex during that time, although I am sure with me up against her back with an erection she felt my arousal.
It is definitely the first step that we need to start reconnecting on the sexual level. I am hoping that she ends up getting her shot soon so we can hopefully have sex again. Although I know it will not happen before my daughter gets home since that is tomorrow.
While we were on the subject I did ask her about why she did not want to have sex all that much. She told me it was a body image issue. Since she gained a lot of weight she did not like the way I look at her during sex.
Back to the post about the perception of sexy...
Personally I like to be on top watching her breasts bounce. She told me she feels uncomfortable with her fat and said that maybe we could try with a shirt on.
Of course I did not complain, anything that will help us having sex again will be a good thing in my book.
I did suggest that we could do doggy with her wearing a shirt, and she agreed that would be okay.
So here is to hoping she gets her shot soon and that she will still want to have sex, fingers crossed.