It has been a while since I have had sex. And I know I have alluded to it before but for some reason when I go a bit without release I tend to watch quite a bit of porn and sometimes stray to the gay side of things.
For some reason I like to watch anal penetration, the videos I seem to focus on are the ones that show the cock sliding in the ass and hopefully see the expression on the guys face. I only watch the amateur videos, the more professional one's do nothing for me.
I also get turned on hearing stories of first time with another man. My release is usually a lot larger when I am reading these types of stories or viewing these types of videos.
I have often thought about trying it out. I think that I could possibly be bisexual or at least curious but I have never had the nerve to do it.
I also like to watch some of the pegging videos, especially where the women is fucking the man missionary and you can see the pain and pleasure in the guys face. Even just thinking about it gets me hard.
During these times I check out the listings on craigslist and imagine myself answering one of the ads. I think about how I would feel and I often end up feeling like I would not actually go through with it. Mostly I am just nervous about meeting the wrong person or having someone find out that I have these feelings.
Mostly though I find that I am really not attracted at all to men. I look around and think about how it would feel to be with various men that I see and think that I could never have sex with any of them. I like looking at cocks but when I see the rest of the body I don't feel anything.
I read a story about being a lesbian and the female body, the softness and beauty of the female form. Men are not soft. In these situations facial hair turns me off. Guys often have hardened features and I like the softer, and not necessarily the twinks. Even they do not really do much for me.
Maybe it is just that I have not found someone that I am attracted to. I do see good looking guys all the time but never see them as sexual partners.
So I do not pursue any of these fantasies. Maybe some day I will be in a situation that somehow presents itself. Maybe in a threesome with another couple, maybe with someone that wants to experiment like I do. But until those days I think I will just stick with watching the porn and not acting on any of my bisexual feelings.