Thursday, April 16, 2015

Ramblings

It is snowing today.  An April storm so not much of one, other than it has been coming down all day but the roads are still clear.

I quit my job a week ago.  The stress of not knowing what the future will hold for my career was enough for me to leave the company.  As a company we have been doing okay, but our division is slowly going down hill.  So I had to take care of myself.

The job I found is better pay, better benefits, less stressful, rock solid and all those other things, but it may be less exciting and a bit more of a commute.  I do use that term commute lightly since I am going to 9 miles to 17 miles, but still no highway driving and no traffic.

It is also four ten hour days, so I go early and leave late but have Fridays off.

I have not had sex in several months.  Honestly I can not remember the last time.  My wife is in the midst of some personal issues that I have just seemed to let her be and hope at some point we can start talking about it again.

I am uncertain as to how to bring it up without her getting upset.  We were at a point where we could talk about it but we have falling into the same old routine now.

I am extremely happy with almost all aspects of my life, aside from the sexual frustrations.  This summer should be a blast and am looking forward to everything that happens.  We bought season tickets for the local sports team and are planning on attending as many games as possible.

A few weeks ago I developed bronchitis and have had a cough since.  That has limited my appetite and I am losing weight right now, but that is a good thing because I wanted to lose weight so when I am healthy enough to lift weights I can concentrate on leaner muscle.

I also quit drinking alcohol, although that may change again soon.  I went to an event at a downtown bar that had free whiskey for four hours and drank too much and ended up throwing up all over myself and the nice yuppie street I was hanging out on.

My wife had to come pick me up because I was basically passed out drunk on the street, it is a good thing that I did not get arrested.  And now even the smell of alcohol makes me queasy, and not just whiskey or hard alcohol that goes for beer too.

And I used to love having a beer.

However, the guys I work with are taking me out tomorrow night for some beers.  I am still debating whether I will drink or not.  I think I will play it by ear.  Either way I will probably only have one.

I ebb and flow in my writing.  I would like to write more but never have much to say anymore.  So I just don't write anything and then feel bad that I am not keeping up on this thing.

Oh well, just figured I would post some of the things that have been going on.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Expect the Worst

So I am a glass half full type of guy, at least for most things.  I tend to try to see the good in things and people and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Over the years I have had some extremely tough situations to deal with and have always seem to come out better in the long run.  Although a few were set backs that have taken years to overcome.

Now I am about to change jobs again, after 10 years of being in the same company.  I am completely looking forward to the new job the new change and all the things that come with it.  It is better pay, better benefits, a bit of a longer commute but still easy, and the most important thing, unless I am grossly negligent it is a very secure job.

The industry I am in now is extremely volatile, companies are in the midst of layoffs or cutting hours and contracts are few and far between.  So job security is extremely important to me now especially as I look towards the future where I have braces, a home purchase and ultimately college to look forward to.

So when something disrupts the norm I start to get extremely worried and draw the worst conclusions.  Like the last few days I have been having issues with my truck.  It is 11 years old but only has 121k miles, so it still has been running great.  But when things start going bad I expect the worst and essentially hope for the best.

This morning I was looking up all the things that could be the problem and came to the conclusion of a blown head gasket... now that in itself is not a terrible issue, other than it costs a lot to replace.  But I started thinking, what if there is something major with the engine, all the nice extra income will be wiped out with a new car payment.

The same thing happened with my boss.  When I was giving my two weeks notice, I became really worried that he was going to fire me on the spot.  Which would not have been a terrible thing but still would have screwed me out of my last paycheck which should be about $1700.  So I started freaking out and saying that if that happened I would call the corporate office and really let them have it.

Of course in both situations things did not happen as I expected.  My boss was happy for me and even said that he would talk with corporate and see if they could offer me more money.

And my truck, although I am not 100% certain, but it seems to be more of a faulty radiator cap, a $4 fix.

Why do I always expect the worst?  Maybe because I can prepare myself for those things and then be happy when they do not happen.  Or maybe I just have a worried side to me.  I was the type of kid that would throw up before his tests, that could not eat anything before giving a speech or anything that would make me nervous.

One thing is for certain, there is a lot of change in my household right now and everything seems to be pointing towards good things, but I still worry.