I have a confession to make. More like a realization that I have come to terms with. Before starting this blog, I was looking for some sort of outlet for my desires. I thought that with all the issues that I have been having with my marriage that maybe an affair would be what I wanted, although I could never bring myself to cheat. And that is the realization that I had. No matter what I do online, searching for porn, posting the Ashley Madison ad, browsing Craigslist, it is no more then curiosity and maybe trying to make myself feel good. What my relationship is lacking mainly is the lack of compliments from my spouse, and good sex, but that is a different post. My wife has low self esteem and she feels that if she is complimenting me that she will feel bad herself. I spent the last two years getting in shape, not because I want a compliment but it helps to have her acknowledge that I look good. That is what drives me to peruse the online ads and think about some sort of affair.