Skip to main content

What Happiness Means to Me

The lights were off in the bedroom as I walked in. She was laying there on the bed in the fetal position much like she always does when she is upset about something.
 
We had a fight, not much of one in our standards but it was still something that we disagreed about. She was still upset that I did not know that her actions were actually flirting and she wanted to have sex. She now thinks that I am no longer attracted to her, but that is not really what the fight was about.
 
We talked a few weeks ago about divorce, but neither of us really want that to happen and that is why we talked about it. It was more of whether it would happen or what the alternatives were to making the relationship work. This is where the disagreement lies. She thinks that much of what happens in our relationship is my fault. Not in the sense that I cause the problems but more in the sense that I am not willing to try to address the issues we have. I feel that she has to start feeling better about herself before our relationship will get any better.
 
"I already know what I want," were her words to me when we started talking about the fight in the bedroom. "You need to figure out why you act the way you do." She said.
 
"I've just been so unhappy with everything," I replied to her. Is that actually true? I was trying to think about all that has been going on lately and there are few things that I have been happy about. Even what has made me happy in the past really does not do much for me now. Am I feeling the depression from the winter still? Or am I really unhappy with things?
 
So I started to think about all the things that make me happy and what I have left in my life here, and am realizing that much of those things are gone.
 
Can I find happiness with other things, or will I be just going through the motions?
 
I have alluded to some of the issues in the past on this blog, and a lot of it comes from the fact that I do not have many friends here. I have a few that I consider friends but few like the ones I left out west where we used to live.
 
We are going to an oyster roast this weekend to help one of the local pet shelters in the area and we are both looking forward to that. We may actually be childless which would even make it better. I am not expecting to make any new friends at this event but just being social will be a nice thing.
 
It is also her birthday next week and we always seem to have a nice time for birthdays, so we shall see.
 
The conversation ended with us agreeing to try to figure things out. Me with trying to find happiness and her agreeing to help out more around the house, which will relieve much of the stress that I feel coming into a messy cluttered house.

That was a few weeks ago and things seem to be a bit better... at least we had sex again but that is for a different post.

Comments

  1. Im glad to see that your smile is returning.
    I am much in the same boat with the sportsman. trying to decide do we stay or do we end it.
    Is there anything left to fight for? thats the big question.

    I wish you luck. and happiness no matter what happens.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Cry Out For Help.

The room was completely silent aside from her breathing. I was awake slightly trying to get back to sleep. Apparently something woke me up at this hour, because I was extremely tired from the weekend. Her breathing seemed odd, almost labored, and I could hear a moan every now and again. Despite her sleeping habits, talking, moaning, breathing heavy, this seemed different. I reached over and touched her shoulder, wondering if it was just me or should I try to wake her. When I heard another moan I gave her a quick shake to see if everything was ok. She stirred slightly but did not waken completely. I shook her again, and again she did not respond very well. At this point I knew something was wrong and I got up and turned on the light. I called her name slightly louder at this point and got back on the bed to shake her awake. She opened her eyes and looked up at me and looking at her eyes I could see the emptiness. Fearing the worst, that she decided to finish off her medications ...

Raining (HNT)

The rain has been falling for the last few days here. We needed it so I am not complaining. It has made the weekend plans a little harder but I think we will find something fun to do. I am still working on getting used to the camera and lack of flash, so the picture seems a little grainy but I thought it went well with the dark rainy weather we are having. Happy HNT! As always check out Osbasso for who else is playing!

A request for HNT

A friend asked for a chest shot, so I had to accommodate. I want to get a little more artistic with my shots but self-shots are not always easy to do that with. So for now I will have to settle with these types of poses. Anyway, enjoy, and Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday! By the way, what the hell happened to Osbasso?