Doldrums by definition are described as an oceanic area where the prevailing winds are calm. A divergence of the two streams that create an area where the winds basically do not blow.
In the Phantom Toolbooth, the Doldrums were a colorless place where thinking and laughing are not allowed.
Is that what a 13 year marriage leads to.. the doldrums? Are we destined to boredom, a lull as one of my fellow bloggers put it in a recent chat session.
Why do we become bored so easily? Why do we let ourselves get in this rut?
My life is the same routine. Work, dinner, watch television, read, sleep. Everyday is the same. Even when I am confronted with the possibility of a sexy evening I tend to not even try.
Maybe its the fear of rejection, maybe its that I am in a rut too.
This seems to be the recipe that cause most people to cheat... its not a midlife crisis, its the doldrums.
Its the boredom that you feel when you come home to the same thing every night. The same situation at home. The same emotional response from your spouse.
I constantly read articles about how to spice up your sexlife. How to bring that spark back. But the doldrums seem to swallow us all at some point.
Writing this blog was an attempt to navigate the doldrums, to get out of the rut that I found myself in. I tend to get out but find my way right back in.
When we first moved out west, our lives were fantastic. Sex was great, our situation was wonderful and we were happy. As that faded we found our way back in the lull.
My wife told me the other day that sex is the furthest thing from her mind... I said that's funny because its the first thing I think of when I wake up, and quite possibly all I think about when I sleep.
She said, well that is your problem... Hun, I think this is a bit of our problem. Sex may not lead me out of the doldrums but it may at least allow me to find the path.