St. Valentines Day - Un-valentines Day

Okay, so here we are the day before Valentine's Day and I am already stressing about it.

I almost hate Valentine's Day as much as I hate New Years. They both represent overly hyped much too anticipated inevitably disappointing holidays. For some reason we expect so much from these days and they never deliver nearly what we desire.

The stores and restaurants are always way too crowded. We pay for a meal that because of the stress of the kitchen staff is never any good. And the fact that sex seems to be expected is enough for my wife to declare before the day even starts that the day will not end with us having sex.

I married my wife 13 years ago, and while we have had our ups and downs we are still in love with each other, why do I need a day to remind me to tell her that. I let her know every day.

When I asked her the other day what is our plan for the day, she automatically said well we have to go out to dinner. Why is that? I would be much happier if we had the Sunday brunch we have been planning to do for the past few months. Or even a good lunch on Friday when my daughter and wife are off of school.

So what is the point really? Why are we expected to use this day as our chance to tell our significant other that we love her. Do I love her more on February 14th than the other days of the year? Do I not try to do nice things for her on any other day? At least the other days may end up with me having sex. I know for a fact that there is a better chance of me winning the lottery than having sex on Valentine's Day right now.

Our track record for Valentine's Day has been the same every year, a long wait for food that was cooked in haste and ending the evening with the anticipation of sex but getting denied every time. Over the past few years I do not even try to be romantic, because it is seen as a ploy to have sex with her. Even if I deny the intention, we still end up arguing over the misconstrued meaning behind holding her hand on the way to dinner.

I completely understand too, sex is stressful for her, especially when it is expected. So I would gather that Valentines is as stressful for her as it is for me.

This year is even worse, everyone in our house has a nasty head cold, but as much as I try to get out of going to dinner tomorrow night we are still going to end up going.

Hopefully with such low expectations for the night it will turn out much better than anticipated. Maybe this year the food will at least be better.


  1. You sound like a romantic. I am in awe of that. Valentine's Day could be really cool but as you say...there are all these expectations on everyone's part. It almost makes expressing your love a job? I try not to expect too much from anyone at anytime, for any reason. That way, the disappointment is much less and should there be a good reaction or nice gesture on someone else's is like...BONUS!

  2. I try to be a romantic, but it makes my wife uncomfortable, so its been so long since I actually did anything romantic, not sure I know how to be one again...


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