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Perception of what is sexy

I did not see the episode of Louie that a lot of people have been talking about lately but I have heard a lot about it.

It was the one where Louie is asked out by a larger girl and she has a speech about why people do not date fat girls.

Here is an excerpt from the speech if you have not seen the episode:
Tell anyone how bad it sucks because it’s too much for people. I mean, you? You can talk into the microphone and say you can’t get a date, you’re overweight. And it’s adorable. But if I say it, they call the suicide hotline on me. I mean, can I just say it? I’m fat. It sucks to be a fat girl. Can people just let me say it? It sucks. It really sucks. And I’m going to go ahead and say it. It’s your fault. Look – I really like you. You’re truly a good guy, I think — so, sorry. I’m picking you. On behalf of all the fat girls, I’m making you represent all the guys. Why do you hate us so much? What is it about the basics of human happiness – you know, feeling attractive, feeling loved, having guys chase after us – that’s just not in the cards for us? Nope, not for us. How is that fair? And why am I supposed to just accept it?
Of course when Louie tells her that she is really beautiful she replies:

Come on. If I was a “very really beautiful” then you would have said yes when I asked you out. I mean, come on, Louie, be honest here. You know what’s funny? I flirt with guys all the time. And I mean, the great looking ones, like the really high caliber studs? They flirt right back. No problem. Because they know their status will never be questioned. But guys like you never flirt with me because you get scared that maybe you should be with a girl like me. And why not?!
Guys have it easy.  They can get fat and old and still be considered handsome.  

Yes there are men that find bigger women sexy, like me.  But low self esteem is a hard thing to overcome especially when the perception of an attractive female is someone who is skinny.  Just look at all the critics of Kate Upton.

I have heard people complain that she is fat or has no shape or she needs to go on a diet or hit the gym.  She is absolutely gorgeous.  Why do we feel the need to have the most beautiful women be pretzel thin. 

My wife is sexy and I keep telling her that.  She was always a bigger girl, worked out quite a bit in the gym but was never pencil thin.  She had curves and a great shape, and that is why I fell in love with her. 

Hopefully someday she will be comfortable with her shape and realize how sexy she is.


  1. There is no one more invisible on earth than a plus size aka fat woman. I know from experience. And sure enough I lost the weight and heads started turning. I'm the same person...maybe a little more confident now....but I could so be the one who gave that speech. The double standards regarding what's "acceptable" for men vs women regarding appearance are appalling.

    1. I am amazed sometimes at the double standard. I have seen girls that look beautiful that may have a little extra weight and they are always so insecure about their looks. It starts at such a young age too which is the real problem. We talk about healthy weights but in reality the idea of a healthy weight is pencil thin and that is not true at all.

  2. it's a funny thing, self-esteem, confidence, shame, desire etc. in my real life I am a typical A type personality. First born, driven, good grades, good friends, good job etc. And, I've also been the plus size gal, friend to all, never the first one chosen to date. Even my darling husband of 25-years has struggled, mightily, with his physical attraction to me and my body type. It wasn't until I met "him", my long distance lover a couple of years ago that I began to believe that maybe I am attractive and desirable and that there are men that would find me as so. His mutual desire of me and my body type was a revelation. Seriously.

    1. Glad that you found someone that could make you feel that way. It is funny though that I spent a long time over the past few years getting in shape hoping that my wife would appreciate it, and all it does is make her feel more depressed about her body type.

      Then she turns it around on me and says all I am looking for is a compliment, but isn't that what it is about. I want her to find me sexy as I find her sexy. But she can't seem to find herself sexy so she does not want to compliment me in anyway. Strange.


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