Traveling again...

My job is going good, although the company needs to rethink some of their policies. Of course I think I would be hard pressed to think of any other company that does not have similar issues.

Normally I am an office worker, but with some budget cuts and some time delays several projects are now overlapping and I am going to be out in the field.

I prefer a combination of both field and office but I usually only travel several weeks out of the year.

The field work is great, does not require a lot of thought other than the initial equipment test in the morning, and gets me outside for the better part of the day. The problem mostly is the hotel stay. The first few days are great but I tend to miss my family.

If we are out in the field for an extended period of time I spend a lot of time in my hotel room. And if said hotel room is not that comfortable I tend to get restless and cant wait to get home. Occasionally we have stayed in some nice places, but typically it is the cheapeast we can find.

The company gives us a set amount to spend each day and if we find a place cheaper we get the difference in cash, so the normal field crew would rather stay in a dump and get paid the extra than find a nice hotel and spend the full amount. I understand that philosophy because they make less than I do, but if they are out in the field for longer then they can potentially make much more than what my salary normally pays.

So of course I get to spend a lot of my time in a hotel room by myself usually watching a lot of porn.

This time I think that I may have time to concentrate on other things and have a plan to update the blog as much as I can.

This would be a good time to get a lot of my other work out of the way, since I do not have any of the other distractions I usually have.

Hopefully the daily work will not take too much out of me that I will be too exhausted at night to do anything.

Well here is to hoping. You will all know by the end of next week if my plan actually worked.

Stress

I woke up screaming last night.

The darkness was taking over my body in a dream and I was trying to push it away. The shadows surrounded me in a black haze and I screamed into my nightmare.

When I finally opened my eyes I was staring at the ceiling in my living room having fell asleep on the couch earlier in the evening. The darkness was still there in the shadows as I tried to go back asleep.

My heart kept pounding in my chest as my eyes closed once again on the room.

The shadows reappeared and I screamed back at them to force them from my mind.

I am not sure anyone else in the apartment heard me, at least from this morning no one has said a word yet. Hopefully my screams were only in my nightmare.

I have been stressed lately, not really myself. Concerned with a lot of my life and the decisions I have made over the past.

These thoughts haunt me from time to time. I try to tell myself that I have no regrets and that I continue to look forward and not behind me, but at times I see the choices I have made and wonder if they were the right ones.

Fortunately the nightmares do not last all that long and I come to realize what I have and know that the decisions I have made or did not make would have changed that.

For now though I am plagued by these thoughts and the stress that they bring.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Starting Weekend Early

Three a.m. this morning the neighbors down stairs started to arrive home. Not sure where they came from but they were loud and obviously impaired on something.

I woke up and could hear them through the open window. The conversation at one point was talking about driving while tripping. While driving under the influence of alcohol is bad, I could not imagine being able to drive while hallucinating.

I could smell the marijuana smoke come up through my window, something that I was not too happy to have with a 10 year old daughter asking me all types of questions.

Eventually they went to sleep and after a bit I did as well.

The next morning as I was living to go to take my daughter to school and myself to work I ran into one of the girls that I see there often. I am not sure if she lives there with the others or just visits from time to time.

She was in the hallway towards the front of the apartment building trying her hardest to open the door of one of the apartments. One that did not belong to anyone she knows.

I looked over at her with my daughter in tow and wonder what she is trying to do.

Leaning towards her a bit I tell her that she has the wrong apartment. Her reply was "I know, right." Definitely not coherent. So I tell her again that she wants the one in the back of the building and she just looks at me strangely.

Understanding that I am not getting through to her I decide to keep walking and let her figure it out. As I am going down the stairs my daughter looks up at her and so I tell my daughter to try to talk with her.

So my daughter asks if she is staying at the apartment with the two dogs and the girl looks at my daughter and asks, "what is that supposed to mean."

My daughter points to the back of the building and says you go back there and turn right, and the girl replies "I know!" but continues to try to open the door in the front.

Then she says can you help me open the door, to my daughter and my daughter tells her no and walks down the stairs where I am waiting.

As we drove away we could still see her there trying to get into the apartment in front of the building and I turn to my daughter and say, "See, that is what drugs do to you." My daughter replied, "She was rude and stupid."

"Exactly."

A Minor Breakthrough

My daughter spent the night at a friends house.

The last time this happened I posted about it. My wife decided to take sex completely off the table before we even went to bed.

That led to a discussion on how to fix this situation and we both decided it would take some work.

This time however it was not completely off the table. There was no discussion before bed and since it was my wife's birthday the other day and we had a great week I thought this would be a good time to try.

My wife's one rule though, mostly because she is on some medications that put her right to sleep, is that we have sex in the morning.

Morning sex is fine with me... well any sex is fine with me.

So this past Saturday I woke up a little earlier and started running my hands up and down her back.

I spent quite a while doing this until I worked up the nerve to move down.

Well maybe when I have more time I will go into the details, but there really is not much to tell.

It was a quick one, since it has been a while. I tried to make it last as long as I could but my body did not comply to well.

And of course I don't mean it was that quick, but we did not change much in the way of positions. It was just a good missionary style, slow hard fucking.

We both got to come which was what we both needed and were very happy afterward.

She even said that she was sorry that she did not want to have sex more often and that things will change.

I consider this a minor breakthrough and hopefully the start of something much much better.

Cascade

She stepped into the shower letting the warm water cascade over her skin. Grabbing the sponge she lathered up her breasts and let out a sigh as the material touched her nipples.

Her fingers traced their way around the nipple as she thought back to the night before.

When she was traveling for business she always played a bit, those were the rules that her husband made for her. It was the reason their relationship was always so sexual. She would return and tell him every last detail as he slid inside her.

Spreading her legs a little she watched as the water made its way to her engorged sex, warming the folds of her vagina.

She used the sponge to soap up her pussy, cleaning the stickiness of last night's tryst.

Last night was amazing she thought.

Her mind wandered back to the unsuspecting guy at the bar. He was sitting at the end nursing a Jameson's, rotating the glass in a circle before taking a sip.

She walked through the door as all eyes turned towards her and the outfit she wore.

Noticing him at once she strolled over and sat a few stools away.

After ordering her drink, she glanced over and smiled. It was not long after that she was up in her room with the guy pressed against her and her back against the wall.

He was larger than her husband and she felt him thrust into her hard. He had his hands on her ass as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Don't come yet," she moaned.

He pulled her closer and carried her to the bed and dropped her hard still trying to keep his cock inside her. Instead she extended her arms and pushed him over onto his back.

She moved her head down and took his cock into her mouth. It was a marvelous cock she thought. Not quite long but wide with a large head. The perfect size to make her feel full. She licked the length of his shaft down to its base and back up again sucking the head into her mouth.

He grabbed her head and stroked her hair as she tried to put more of his length down her throat. It was too big to go very far so she concentrated on the head licking around it and stroking the shaft with her hand.

She could feel him tense up so she slowed down trying to extend the fucking session.

Climbing back up onto his chest she straddled his hips and lowered herself slowly onto his cock. Reaching back she grabbed his balls and squeezed gently as she started to rotate her hips.

He let out a loud moan and arched his back forcing his cock deeper. Placing her hands on his chest her pace quickened until she could see that he was about to come.

"Come for me baby," she said as she could feel the warmth of his ejaculate filling her inside.

He let out a groan and pushed his hips up to meet her thrusts again. She was grinding her clit against him now bringing herself to a perfect climax.

She fell off him letting him slide out of her and stepped off of the bed.

Turning back over her shoulder she told him to clean up get dressed and make sure he closes the door behind him as he leaves.

He watched her walk into the bathroom, her beautiful ass swaying as she entered the doorway. Smiling, but feeling a little bit used, he gathered his clothes from the floor, got dressed and let the room.

The water felt so good as her mind came back to the present. She brought herself to climax again, thinking about his thick cock inside her again.

This will be a good story for the fucking she would get by her husband later that night.

South To Drop Off!

Dropping my daughter off at school is probably one of the most stressful parts of my day. In fact it was so stressful at first that I now try to get her to school before the rush of parents.

The sad thing is that there are simple rules to follow. The drive through the parking lot is one direction. There are more than enough spaces to pull in drop off and let your kids out.

The exit is right turn only. There is a round-about maybe 100 yards down that will give you the opportunity to go the other direction.

And lastly, the main parking lot is for buses and teachers, not parents.

The rest is common courtesy.

But every morning I get frustrated with someone that thinks they are above the rules. Especially if it is before the crossing guards get there.

This morning a guy was going the wrong direction through the parking lot and after almost hitting me since he was not looking, gave me a look that I was supposed to watch out for him.

I was stopped dead in the lane as he tried to drive the wrong way until finally I beeped at him. If I had not beeped he would have actually hit me.

So I am reminded every morning of the scene in Mr. Mom.



Have a wonderful Friday! At least that part of my day is now officially over.

We Were Alone

I could feel the uncomfortable silence soon after my daughter left to go sleep at a friends house.

Sitting in my recliner, reading a story on my nook, I glanced over at her wondering what she was thinking.

"We are not going to have sex," she finally breaks the silence.

"Okay," I reply as I continue reading the story.

A few minutes later I look up from my screen and ask her why did she feel the need to say that right now.

It has been several months since we have had sex and with the lack of sex on valentine's day the times that we used to have sex are becoming few and far between.

She started to explain but I knew that her medication was already starting to kick in since I could tell her eyelids were getting heavy.

"I know this may be taken the wrong way, but I am not attracted to you right now." She said, slowly.

"I am not sure I understand," I said getting slightly angry.

And so the conversation started.

It was a conversation that we should have been having for quite some time now. Occasionally we will bring it up and then after a bit it will die down never completely being resolved.

For those that have been reading my blog on a regular basis you know the story. I am pretty much in a sexless marriage. And for someone as lascivious as I am it has been a difficult time.

I would be lying if I did not admit that internet porn got me through a lot of the tough times, as well as writing on this blog.

The conversation continued for a little while longer, with some back and forth banter, without really accomplishing anything. Until she declared she was tired and going to bed.

I stewed for a little while out on the couch and finally made it into the bedroom where I stared at the ceiling and thought about what tomorrow would bring.

Are we moving forward or is it a lost cause. At one point I was chatting with my friend on facebook and I told her that during the conversation my wife told me she does not like changing in front of me for fear of arousing me.

My friend and I agreed that she does not trust me and possibly thinks that I am a pervert, catching glimpses of her to get me hard. I tried to explain to my wife that seeing her get dressed was part of an everyday situation that it does not arouse me anymore than watching her eat cereal. It is not like she strips for me or wears something sexy. She merely goes from the shower to wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

So my friend asked, how can you move forward if she feels this way. I pondered that question for quite some time. I know a lot of what is affecting my wife is the mental health issues and her medication, but really if she feels that way now, what is going to change that.

Even when I was at my peak shape a few years back, she never would give me a compliment, mostly because she said it would feed my ego, but for me all I wanted was acknowledgement that I looked good to her. Now I know she could not give me those compliments because of the way she felt.

The next day I asked her if we were going to talk more about it, and she said there really was not much more she could say. I asked her what she meant by telling me she was not attracted to me and she clarified that she has no desire to have sex and that is what she meant.

Hopefully this will be the start of our conversations about this and that we can resolve the lack of sex in our relationship. She agreed to start going to the group she promised months ago and invited me to go to a group as well.

At the very least, it started the conversation again. This time I hope to keep it going and find a resolution.