Blue Eyed Bader

The rain has been falling for the last few days here. We needed it so I am not complaining. It has made the weekend plans a little harder but I think we will find something fun to do. I am still working on getting used to the camera and lack of flash, so the picture seems a little grainy but I thought it went well with the dark rainy weather we are having. Happy HNT! As always check out Osbasso for who else is playing!

Growing up as the youngest of four brothers was not the easiest thing to survive. Of course somethings were easier because I got away with a lot of things since my parents went through it all with my other brothers, but I also had to compete with them for almost everything. I received a lot of hand me downs on many things, but on somethings by the time it reached me it was already worn out or broken. So many times I ended up with something new. The one thing that was always tough for me was being shy. My next older brother was king, the social butterfly, the guy that everyone liked to be around. He may not have been the smartest in the family or the most athletic but he always had the prettiest girls falling all over him and a truckload of friends that would call him on the weekend. Me, I was the quiet one, the smart one that kept to myself most of the time. I was also the athlete of the family, played three sports, skied, surfed and an outdoorsman. But for some reason I was shy ...

In 1960 jazz artist John Coltrane decided to take three giant steps. He quit drinking, he quit drugs namely heroine and became religious. He locked himself in a room for several weeks and quit everything cold turkey. After that he focused on his family, his music, and his daughter. We all take steps in our lives at some point. Taking a chance at a job that brings us across the country, choosing the person to hopefully try to spend the rest of our life with. Bringing a new life into this world. Many of these are giant steps. That is how we define our lives. These steps for Coltrane inspired the rest of his music, one of the greatest jazz albums ever produced was recorded after those steps named aptly enough "Giant Steps.'  This was my first introduction to Coltrane from a friend who sadly passed away this year. A friend who was not even 40. So this summer I took some giant steps of my own. While my wife and daughter were visiting family in California I changed my diet, ch...

A friend asked for a chest shot, so I had to accommodate. I want to get a little more artistic with my shots but self-shots are not always easy to do that with. So for now I will have to settle with these types of poses. Anyway, enjoy, and Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday! By the way, what the hell happened to Osbasso?

Well the week is almost half over and what a week it has been already and will be over the next few days. We are in the end of our fiscal year, and are also going through a merger that becomes official October 1st. Do I need to say that my job is stressful right now, didn't think so. Not only have I been assigned an incredible amount of projects to do in the next week, but I also have to complete the transition of the data to the new formats. Of course during all of this I have to go to the dentist, today, in about an hour. I thought about changing my appointment since this week is bad, but then I decided its my health. I don't mind going to the dentist, its not my favorite thing. But it is something that I am doing for myself, to keep me healthy, and this is the time that I have to be healthy. My work will wait for me, and the people that are screaming because they realized that the project they have been sitting on for the past four months is due at the end of next we...

I debated a long time before I posted that last piece. It was and has been a very difficult point in my life, and I wanted to keep some of the blog more upbeat. Although these incidents define my life and relationship over the past six years. Things have gotten better. She was hospitalized one or two times a year for the first three years when we moved here, ending completely in 2007. There was one more incident in 2008 that she should have gone and that I was stupid for not bringing her and thankful that it did not turn out any worse. My daughter remembers some of those times, like spending Mothers Day in the common area of the mental health facility. She also understands she is sick, but still makes the comments like 'Why does mommy sleep all the time." Or "Mommy is always angry." I would be foolish to say that this has not affected our relationship. I would like to say that we are stronger, but I have yet to open my heart back up to her as I did in the past ...

The room was completely silent aside from her breathing. I was awake slightly trying to get back to sleep. Apparently something woke me up at this hour, because I was extremely tired from the weekend. Her breathing seemed odd, almost labored, and I could hear a moan every now and again. Despite her sleeping habits, talking, moaning, breathing heavy, this seemed different. I reached over and touched her shoulder, wondering if it was just me or should I try to wake her. When I heard another moan I gave her a quick shake to see if everything was ok. She stirred slightly but did not waken completely. I shook her again, and again she did not respond very well. At this point I knew something was wrong and I got up and turned on the light. I called her name slightly louder at this point and got back on the bed to shake her awake. She opened her eyes and looked up at me and looking at her eyes I could see the emptiness. Fearing the worst, that she decided to finish off her medications ...

I know what you are saying, three picture posts in a row, did I run out of things to say. Definitely not, I have more stories than I know what to do with, but I the last few days have been fun for me on the camera front. I took a few good pictures of me and one that I thought I would share with you all. Beryl over at Phoenix Rising suggested that I make it a caption contest with an award and all, so I may do that for the next picture post. For now though I just want you to come up with a good caption. So here is the picture: A toilet, big screen TV, and an old screen door. This was taken down the street from my house. Here I will start, my caption originally was... Mantrash Then I thought,   Marriage, The Ultimate Sacrifice My neighbor came up with, Redneck Garage Sale So what can you come up with?

This is my running outfit, and my wife thinks that I look like one of those San Francisco bike messengers... She told me this the first day that I wore the shirt in the picture above. So I asked her you mean the gay ones? Because most of those guys look pretty good, so I took it as a compliment. If you know my wife, you would probably understand that this was definitely not a compliment... but oh well, you take what you can get sometimes. What do you all think?

Getting a little more risque, we shall see how far I go with it I guess. Dont think I will really show much more but hey there is always room for growth, ha! Happy HNT!

Last of a three part series... read Part I here and Part II  here ... I felt the first tear fall down my face before I realized what she was saying. How could she say that after all that has happened? I sat quietly and heard her ask. “Did you hear me?” Again my voice broke when I replied, “yes.” I stared at the darkness in my room and thought about what to say but nothing came. I managed to say wow, but wished I could say more. We talked some more that night but I am not sure I heard anything after that, and have no idea what I told her. Over the next month we talked daily, once again our conversations were superficial, although we decided that we needed to see each other. Thinking back, I believe we both felt that the connection was still there and we needed to test the waters. Although I had no idea if it was the right thing to do, giving our past. The plan was made, a weekend camping trip to Vermont. Nothing was promised and nothing was expected, just some time to ge...

Continuation of Part I . Please start there if you have not already. My brother told me there was a message on the machine but when I went to check it, he had already erased it. He was protecting me. He had been there when I walked back in the house wet from the rain, with a broken heart. He had picked up the pieces that I left there by the door that day and helped me rebuild. I knew I should not care that she called. I had not spoken to her since that night. I did not want to know how her new life was. I did not care if she wondered how I was, the pain was too great. But I was drawn to the machine. I looked at the tape and thought maybe it had not been erased, although I did not have a way to play it back. So I went out the next day and bought a mini tape recorder. When I heard her voice I could tell there was a sorrow to it. She said it took her a long time to call and she wanted to see how I was doing. I could sense she was trying to be upbeat but realized that behind the smile s...

This is going to be a three part post, since when I started it I thought it would be shorter but evolved into almost 4 pages... and I know my attention span is not all that long so I thought it was easier to split up... The butterflies had returned. The anticipation was completely destroying me from within. It had been almost eight months since I had seen her last and I had no idea what I would say, what I would do or even how I would ultimately feel. My heart had been broken. It was left on the rain soaked road behind the dunes where she had spoken those words. I went back to that day in my mind many times. “We have to talk,” the words were spoken quietly but I knew what they meant. My heart was already sinking, I had waited for this day the entire summer, waited for us to finally be together and hearing those words already hurt. We took a drive out to the beach to talk. The rain was cascading down on the windshield as I stared into the darkness waiting for her to tell me what w...

Today was my long run day in my training for the half marathon. The first of many longer days and the first time that I ran more than 5 miles in many many years. I felt great yesterday when I ran the 3.5 miles and actually thought I could do more, so when the training called for me to run/walk 7 miles today I thought maybe I can do the whole 7 miles without stopping just at a slower pace. Well I started out great, running about a 9 minute mile, which I thought was good for that distance. I did try to put my cell in my pocket thinking if I actually cramped up and lay dying on the trail that I could call someone to at least cart me off somewhere. When I put my phone in my pocket I noticed that the phone was slowly pulling my shorts down. These shorts lost the drawstring waistband a few months back, not sure what happened. So I decided to carry my phone so I would not have to worry about flashing the other people on the trail. Off I went, 3.5 miles into it, sweating like crazy now...

Her: Why is the camera in the bathroom? Me: Because I was taking the before pictures for before and after weights for my training. What should have been said... Her: Why is the camera in the bathroom? Me: Because I was taking pictures of my penis to share online...

To the women with the Donate Life license plate who blew through the school zone at 55 mph, maybe you need to reevaluate your license plate choice. To the Jackass with the Start Seeing Motorcycles bumper sticker who pulled out in front of me while I was on my bike... please heed your own advice. To the lady with the Got Jesus sticker in her window who flipped me off because I would not let two cars merge in front of me, I think you need to keep reading your bible, maybe someday you will understand what it says. And lastly to the young girl putting on makeup, while eating breakfast and talking on the phone on the way to high school, if you happen to make it to graduation, please choose a private college that way the tax payers will end up paying for nothing when you die before you finish. Have a great day everyone!

You're a redhead I said admiring the hair above her pussy. She was on top of me know completely naked and I finally had a glimpse of her beautiful trimmed pussy hair. I was still in my clothes, it was easier for her to get naked since she started taking off her clothes on the way home from the bar. Halfway down our block in San Francisco, she had nothing left but her panties, and I just watched her ass move in the shear material. Back in our apartment we wasted no time and she was soon naked and sitting on my lap on the couch. She leaned in to kiss me and smiled, "My hair turns blonde in the summer," she replied. My hands were cupped around her breasts at this point, as our lips met in a passionate kiss. She fumbled with my zipper, and grabbed the tops of my boxers, sliding them down over the head of my cock. Her fingers played with the pre-cum on the tip of my cock and slowly moved the fabric further down to expose my erection. I lifted my ass off of the couch an...

Just got back from a run... showered for the third time today. Its not the best picture, but I will get more creative as I go along. Happy HNT!

In that order... My job is changing, big changes, or maybe no change at all... it is all up in the air and it could be months until it is finalized... I will have a job, but I have no idea what I am going to be doing. I could be in the same position I am now or I may be moving on and traveling more, not sure which one will be better. My life is crazy, mainly because of the work changes, partly from the weekend and my wife sinking deeper into depression. She is better now but it seems she has to start working every other weekend, which is why she was depressed this past weekend.. working on a holiday weekend. So is this going to happen every week she has to work on Saturday and Sunday, I hope not, it was extremely emotionally draining for me as well as her. Other stuff, my daughter has been recommended for the smart class... if she passes the test she will be moved into the class next year. I am proud of her but worried that she may not be ready for the smart class, she is only in...

Our doctor told my wife that many of her health problems are due to her being overweight. Her weight problems are mostly from hypothyroidism and the medication she takes for depression. Of course it does not help a person that is dealing with insecurities to tell them they have a weight issue. So very gently I asked her if she wanted some help or support in losing some weight. I did not put it exactly that way but it was a longer conversation and that was the basic gist. She told me she was not ready yet, but we could start as the weather gets cooler. A delicate balance, I want her to feel better and be more secure. I could care less what she looks like, I think she is beautiful no matter what. But I also want her to be around for a long time, and if the doctor is correct, even though he should not be talking about it as much as he does then she probably could lose a few pounds. One of our dogs is overweight too, so a nice walk with the dogs and the family should do nicely. I...

Years ago, even after my daughter was born, we spent a good majority of our lives with friends. Dinner parties, camping, cook outs, cocktails, you name it we were involved. It was always the same, we would bring some sort of meat or meatless product and a side dish. It was the cheap and easy way to have a party and still have a great time. One of us would supply the space and the grill and cook the meat and we would all share sides. Most of us had common interests and the girls would get together and talk about their day and what the plans were for the weekend whether it was to go camping or to the lake... and the guys would sit around and talk about skiing, fishing, mountain biking or motorcycles. We were all around the same ages and all happy where we were in our lives. These were my best friends, and we always did everything together. We even tried to start a company together but when I moved away the interest diminished and it ultimately folded. Yes some of us went our separate...

The road from Park City to Jackson, Wyoming is a scenic highway especially when my wife decides to get naked for almost the last half hour, flashing all the truckers and RVs along the way. I was surprised that we did not get pulled over but there are not a lot of police along the mountain highways so we really did not have much to lose. At the time she was not my wife, although we had been together for almost five years. We actually had broken up because like all relationships we came to the transition period of where are we going and I did not have a great answer to the question. I was not finished playing, but I realized very quickly what my life would be like without her. It was only a short time after that trip when we decided to get married... and that is another funny story for another time. So we were invited on a little excursion to Jackson, my college roommate was a manager at a hotel there and was able to book us a room for $25 a night. Considering the destination thi...

I seem to have dodged several bullets this week... It started out a little crazy, with me having to serve my civic duty, but alas I was never chosen. So first bullet dodged... and of course things are heating up a little in the ocean. With me a stone's through from the shoreline I am a little anxious about this massive storm sitting off our coast. But as again it looks like we are not expecting anything more than some intense surf and bad rip currents... second bullet dodged. The last one was a completely minor one, but yesterday I saw the wonderful white shirt black tie bicycle riding LDS missionaries riding through my neighborhood. Being somewhat of an atheist and cooking dinner at the time I did not want to have to explain my viewpoints and be impolite to them. I know they are serving their greater good and that they all hope to make it into heaven for their service, but I really did not have time to talk and did not want to burn the dinner on my stove. So I watched as t...

A few more pounds lost and I will be to my fighting weight. This week has not been the best exercise wise for me and I did eat quite a bit over the weekend... but its good to have those every once in a while. Makes me work harder the next week. Maybe training for a half marathon but am worried that I will lose too much muscle mass training... Anyway Happy HNT everyone!