Years ago, even after my daughter was born, we spent a good majority of our lives with friends. Dinner parties, camping, cook outs, cocktails, you name it we were involved. It was always the same, we would bring some sort of meat or meatless product and a side dish. It was the cheap and easy way to have a party and still have a great time.
One of us would supply the space and the grill and cook the meat and we would all share sides. Most of us had common interests and the girls would get together and talk about their day and what the plans were for the weekend whether it was to go camping or to the lake... and the guys would sit around and talk about skiing, fishing, mountain biking or motorcycles.
We were all around the same ages and all happy where we were in our lives. These were my best friends, and we always did everything together. We even tried to start a company together but when I moved away the interest diminished and it ultimately folded. Yes some of us went our separate ways or got married and had kids but we always seemed to get back together for the big things, birthdays, weddings, opening day of ski season, early mountain bike season in Moab, Utah, the things that mattered.
I miss those friends. These days I spend more time at home with my wife and daughter then I do with any of my friends, mainly because I do not have many good friends here that I share the same interests. In fact, I have a very select few that I would call friends and they are all at least 15 years younger than I am.
Maybe it is because I live in the south and have no real reason to be here other than my work brought me here... I am a snow skier, lived in the mountains for the better part of my life and now I live along the coast in an area known for its swamps.
The common interest for most of the people that I hang out with is college football and hunting. I watch college football but have no real interest in discussing the teams because I have no favorite, and hunting, well I have never been and will never go. I do not own any guns, nor do I want to. Not that I am opposed to it, I just dont want to kill any animal and dont want to worry about the gun accidentally going off and hurting someone.
So I quickly get bored when the conversation is steered towards one of those things. I would much rather be talking about the snow falling, or the Golden Eagle that we saw soaring through the canyon, or how the river is running high and the kayaks are getting dusty.
I wonder why I moved here, but I know it was a career move. I also wanted to be closer to family, which I am glad that I did. But sometimes it seems that I made the wrong choice, a rash decision during an extremely emotional time in my life, but that is an entirely different and very very long story that I may share but not yet.
I dont regret the decision, I make sure I remind myself that you can not have any regrets in life, and that you can correct almost all the bad decisions you make, at least for the most part. And we have lived through some of the worst experiences that anyone could have since we have lived here and things are starting to balance themselves out... hopefully when my life balances I will find those friends that I can share some good stories with... hopefully I will not have to wait all that long.
One of us would supply the space and the grill and cook the meat and we would all share sides. Most of us had common interests and the girls would get together and talk about their day and what the plans were for the weekend whether it was to go camping or to the lake... and the guys would sit around and talk about skiing, fishing, mountain biking or motorcycles.
We were all around the same ages and all happy where we were in our lives. These were my best friends, and we always did everything together. We even tried to start a company together but when I moved away the interest diminished and it ultimately folded. Yes some of us went our separate ways or got married and had kids but we always seemed to get back together for the big things, birthdays, weddings, opening day of ski season, early mountain bike season in Moab, Utah, the things that mattered.
I miss those friends. These days I spend more time at home with my wife and daughter then I do with any of my friends, mainly because I do not have many good friends here that I share the same interests. In fact, I have a very select few that I would call friends and they are all at least 15 years younger than I am.
Maybe it is because I live in the south and have no real reason to be here other than my work brought me here... I am a snow skier, lived in the mountains for the better part of my life and now I live along the coast in an area known for its swamps.
The common interest for most of the people that I hang out with is college football and hunting. I watch college football but have no real interest in discussing the teams because I have no favorite, and hunting, well I have never been and will never go. I do not own any guns, nor do I want to. Not that I am opposed to it, I just dont want to kill any animal and dont want to worry about the gun accidentally going off and hurting someone.
So I quickly get bored when the conversation is steered towards one of those things. I would much rather be talking about the snow falling, or the Golden Eagle that we saw soaring through the canyon, or how the river is running high and the kayaks are getting dusty.
I wonder why I moved here, but I know it was a career move. I also wanted to be closer to family, which I am glad that I did. But sometimes it seems that I made the wrong choice, a rash decision during an extremely emotional time in my life, but that is an entirely different and very very long story that I may share but not yet.
I dont regret the decision, I make sure I remind myself that you can not have any regrets in life, and that you can correct almost all the bad decisions you make, at least for the most part. And we have lived through some of the worst experiences that anyone could have since we have lived here and things are starting to balance themselves out... hopefully when my life balances I will find those friends that I can share some good stories with... hopefully I will not have to wait all that long.
I moved away from where I loved, based on a rash decision too. And like you, I was very emotional at the time.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started kayaking in the small lake near my home, no one knew what it was. Again and again I explained it over and over. Even stranger for them was the fact that I took my dog along in it with me. One day, a beautiful woman in her late 60's asked me if she could join me. She moved from another part of the country and felt as out of place at times as I did. I would talk about our trips and adventures together with a friend at work. I guess it sparked some curiosity in her. She asked if I would teach her as well. And so on and so on.
I hope you will continue to do those things that you love and can do in your new home. I miss the Pacific. I can't replace it, but I have learned to love the very differnt, yet still beautiful, beach I have here. I can't replace the mountains, but when I'm not too homesick, I appreciate the lovliness that is the prairies here.
Do what you love. Do it alone if you have to. Without friends, without your wife. Let your passion for what you do show and shine through. Let it feed your soul, and see what happens.
You never know what it may spark in someone else. And there a friendship is born.
xoxo
~vk~
Yes, I agree with vk - find others to share your passion with!
ReplyDeleteSince moving where we are now, I have a few friends, but they all have families and other interests than mine, except for a few persons. I joined a website (meetup.com), signed up for a few groups that interested me and we meet from time to time to share our passions.
This way I feel less alone.